Popular Post -DLC- Posted May 2, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted May 2, 2022 OK, gonna open up and go deep here. This song hits me straight in the gut. First night I heard it was, well..... The Brock stuff's opened it up wide for me tonight. Christmas Eve and Mom's brain cancer had progressed and the decline was shocking and abrupt. She thought my son was my ex as we entered her home. It hit us, hard. We knew she'd be going into palliative in the New Year and we were preparing for that. but had hoped for one last Christmas together. As it would be, we wouldn't make it. We had to make the call that night...she was lost, hostile and having violent seizures. Dad was exhausted and Mom was now out of control (we found cigarette burns in her mattress). An ambulance was set to pick her up the next day and transport her to the palliative ward. My kids went off to spend the night with friends so I could deal. As I put Mom in the ambulance the next day, it was with the reality that she wouldn't ever come back home again. Ever. It was an absolute gut punch and I felt breathless. I went and got her settled in her new home in the most unsettling moment of my entire life. I got home later that evening to an undecorated tree and a dark empty house. I sat, cross legged on the floor in the dark beside the stupid bare tree and...lost it. I had a bottle of wine (no glass needed). Then this song came on. At the very same moment the phone rang and it was my drunk ex (who was living with his new gf but still felt the need to harass me). He knew my Mom was going soon but he was an abusive ass, so...priorities. Needed to poke at me...Christmas stuff, for old time's sake. He called to tell me he wasn't going to pay child support anymore. Copped a drunken attitude. Whatever. Get lost, leave me alone. Click. As the beginning of the song played...."come in here and watch the death, love is a strong word...I hate you" he called back, over and over. Ring. Click. Ring, click. I'd lift the receiver (it was a home phone) and hang up on him without listening or saying a word and he'd call right back, over and over, rinse repeat. Perfectly set to the music. I could vaguely hear him yelling at me. Fool. Then the roulette wheel part and "try again" in the song, perfectly orchestrated with what was happening. I was numb, crushed....completely obliterated and the song was playing out my life in that very moment in music. I still get chills in the most overwhelming way when I hear it (I couldn't listen to it for the longest time). A bit of a trigger, but also a release (if that makes sense). When I saw Matt do it live for the first time it was super emotional for me... very raw. My friend plays guitar on it and his solo breaks me every single time. So that's that. A kick in the head, pass it around..... 1 1 1 2 Link to comment
-DLC- Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me.... 1 1 Link to comment
Gollumpus Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 The book is better (of course), but this is a nice way to wind down the day. regards, G. 1 Link to comment
Ilunga Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 16 hours ago, Muttley said: Thanks for reminding me Link to comment
Ilunga Posted May 3, 2022 Share Posted May 3, 2022 Continuing the double bass theme 1 1 Link to comment
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