naslund.is.king

Thanks Coastal,

I don't drink like my father did.

I'm not a drunk like the old man was.

This is the OP's battle though. 

I'm just trying to relate and let our CDC brother know we all have connections to addiction and know it can be beat.

I've either trained myself or trained my addictions.

I have children.

I remember my Dad being drunk AF when I was a kid. He wasn't a mean drunk, but he was drunk alright.

My son even remembers my dad so drunk I had to carry him to his gf's car, and before dinner..

I'm coasting just fine, coastal. You must get the view

I was told hat an alcoholic is someone ha drinks daily - so I only drink at night.    

That said, alcoholism is a serious issue and very hard to fight alone.

naslund is king: I know what you're going through. It's extremely hard to deal with and is painful. You know that it's taking it's toll on you but the pull is unbelievably powerful, and before you know it you're half cut.

My biggest problem has been the control factor. The more I drank, the more I wanted to drink. Really I was looking to maintain that sweet spot buzz where everything is roses, but I never could. Up to 2 litres of red wine a night at my worst.

I haven't quit, mind you, but I've toned it waaay down. No drinks of any kind from Monday to Friday. Then on Friday, I'll have some wine with dinner, and maybe a couple of glasses after. I've done my best to disassociate what I do when I drink to break the habitual aspect of it, as well as addressed the causation of the reason which is trying to distance myself from my inner turmoil.

I wish you the best and hope you find clarity in all of this.

Western Red: I hope the same for you. I am very sorry to hear about the break up, and the pain it is causing you. Lucky is right to suggest writing everything down. When we put into physical form what is hurting us, we get it out of our heads, and are able to view it as something concrete rather than an abstract thought in our heads.

Take care.

It takes a lot to admit that you're in pain.