Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Matthew Lombardi 18

Meeting a (very) insecure girl from online.

314 posts in this topic

I've recently met a very insecure girl online (but in the area). It's been a week and two days and much progress has been made.

We've had text messages and telephone/cell phone calls. I have not seen her picture yet. We've managed to talk about A LOT of personal stuff about each other (aside from names, school and places of work) and we have A LOT of similar goals/interests/experiences. It almost seems like it is meant to be. This whole week, I've been talking to her for hours and hours, non-stop. The interest between us, I believe, is genuinely mutual. Yet, she is so insecure about herself. Everytime I come back home, she is almost always the first person to write me long messages about how she feels about meeting/knowing me (and it's all positive)

She has openly admitted that she "really really really" likes me (and more, which could be scary for guys!) but won't meet me until couple of months from now.

She admits that she is physically ugly (her words) and wants to "be ready for me" later on, and she's afraid she's not good enough for me. I am not a superficial person and I have told her that. I guess she doesn't trust me. But she admits that I am the first person that she has thoroughly trusted and cared for, but is afraid that I'll turn away from her - due to her ugliness.

She also asked me about what types of girls I'm interested in, hair styles..bust size, etc. I told her that natural is best and that a woman shouldn't have to do all this for a guy because the guy isn't worth it, if that's the case. Anyhow, she insists that she's doing it so that I don't have to "settle". It's really obvious that she has self-esteem issues, despite the fact that I told her that I'm not like that. I've (crazily) made some future plans about doing something with her one day and she is extremely happy about them. She trusts me and she's told me some emotional things about herself.

She has (in her words) made lifestyle changes, turning a bit more girly now, which is a new adjustment for her - but I never ever told her to change herself. She did it by herself.

She wants to give me her picture as a birthday present. I gave my picture to her just yesterday.

She has encouraged that I go find someone else (if I can't wait for her).

The problem is... I want to meet her - but she doesn't want to meet me, despite her words (verbally + text) that she really wants to. She says she's deeply afraid of rejection.

What should I do? I do (think) that I care about her and I don't want to ditch her. At the same time, flirting online is not enough for me. I want to have lunch/dinner with her and/or do something fun with her. She's a nice person but has a very low self-esteem.

Sigh.

I wish I could get her to trust me - then I can prove that I won't break her heart.

Stay friends with her and find another girl? or just try to work through it? I'm a 'project' boyfriend myself but she is an even bigger 'project' girlfriend.

I want to be there for her but I'm not sure if I should do that as a close friend or as a boyfriend. Help please.

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of girls think they are ugly. Even when they are not. If you feel connected to the person, then all should be fine man. Im sure once you meet, she will trust you! Maybe she got hurt by another guy really bad and hasn't fully recovered yet

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She'll make you into an even bigger project by the time you're done.

don't waste your time because you may not even ever meet her. If you do you might not like her.

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hmmm...

This is a tough one, especially if when you meet her you're not attracted to her, and that would break her heart.

I

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do you know for sure its a "girl"?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really get it. What kind of help are you expecting here? Are you hoping some CDCer is going to somehow magically force her to meet you?

or are you just expecting some mental kung fu tips that you can use to trick her into meeting you?

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She is simply preparing herself for your rejection. I suffer from low self esteem as well, so I do this sometimes as well (I'm a guy btw). If you truly feel you won't reject her, then by all means be there for her. She would really appreciate that even if she doesn't say so. Just my 2 cents.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of girls think they are ugly. Even when they are not. If you feel connected to the person, then all should be fine man. Im sure once you meet, she will trust you! Maybe she got hurt by another guy really bad and hasn't fully recovered yet

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Once you see her..

"Hello, I'm Chris Hansen from dateline NBC"

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From what I hear from her, she has done lots of sports in high school, so I don't expect her to be 180 lbs. She's alluded to other things too and based on her conversation, I really really will not expect her to be a "BBW".

I'm at an impasse. I don't know what to do. I'm just a bit disappointed that her actions don't reflect her words. :/

She's been upfront with her flaws and I honestly don't mind (I'm not perfect myself so I gave her reason not to put me up on a pedestal).

It's actually the underlying issue of her insecurity that bothers me right now, not the perceived issues that she's mentioning.

Flirting online is fun and all but I want to see and know the person that I'm interested in, you know?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Some female rugby players can get pretty big. What sports did she play?

It just sounds like she was a bit of a tom boy who wasn't one of the highly sought after girls in her high school possibly making herself seem more insecure than she needs to be?

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.