Kazmanian Devil Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 I used to listen to Kid Rock 1 Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted January 20, 2016 Author Share Posted January 20, 2016 detoxing for almost 2 days kinda sucks LOL but i've been off the rails for the past couple of months, but i have a new job on the horizon and i'm working on my problem :3 3 Link to comment
AppleJack Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 (edited) I feel I won a small victory last night. Probably because of the clots I have quite a bit inflammation in my chest/underarm area.. So I have been basically having chest/arm pain on both sides (but more my left side) for basically three months. Its so bad I been taking T2's every day as well as using heating pads. I only take 1/4 of a T2 basically four times a day so I don't get addicted. On the weekend I took some blood tests, and had an EKG done to make sure i am healthy enough to go on a new medication. Yesterday my psychiatrist called to tell me to wait a day till she talks to my doctor before starting the medication because something showed up on my EKG. I have a 1st degree AV block. I have no idea what that meant and it was scary to hear you have something going on with your heart ( even if it wasn't an emergency) so I visited DR google and DR Google says my heart is basically beating to slow. They usually don't even treat you for this but monitor to make sure that there isn't any underlying heart issues. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday to get the inflamation looked at and to go and get a 24 hour heart monitor test thingy done. I am terrified there will be something wrong because I have had such horrible luck with my health in the past few months, but mostly because we are about to be cleared (providing there isn't any evidence of a new blood clot) to be able to try for another baby. This is something I need to do sooner then later as the thought of being pregnant again is already super scary for me. I am also 37 so my gynecologist does not want us waiting longer then necessary. Plus it will provide some much needed healing after losing our son in October. So I really don't think I can handle them telling me I have to wait even longer. My small victory was that I didn't go to the ER even though I am having quite a bit anxiety over the fact that my heart beat is slow. This is really big step for me because even two weeks ago I would have gone to the ER even after having two different doctors tell me I don't need medical treatment for this. So It shows just how far I have come in the past few weeks. I do admit I am kind of scared to take my asthma medication (symbacort) as it does make my heart race. I am going talk to my doctor about that and try to skip it for the next day and just use my inhaler if I need it. Edited January 20, 2016 by AppleJack 2 Link to comment
Putgolzin Posted January 20, 2016 Share Posted January 20, 2016 4 hours ago, AppleJack said: I feel I won a small victory last night. Way to go! Anxiety is a brutal enemy - nice job winning even once to begin with! Link to comment
aGENT Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Keep on that road back AJ, we're pulling for ya! Link to comment
AppleJack Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) Thanks everyone I admit Its been a long hard road to recovery but I am feeling a lot better. edit: I was feeling better till I went to the doctors.... My doctor basically just cleared me medically for us to try again for another baby except I have to wait till I have a specific test done to try and figure out why I am having breast pain for so long... and the earliest appointment isn't till April 28th. I am on the cancellation list so hopefully I can get an earlier appointment but it just feels like a kick in the gut. To be told that you are healthy enough (providing there isn't anything seriously wrong with my heart or any new blood clots) but then the medical test they want you to do can't be done on someone who is pregnant. So even though Medically we are cleared we have to wait another 3 months so I can get this test done. It just seems so unfair. Edited January 21, 2016 by AppleJack Link to comment
Denis Potvin Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 I confess that I have substance abuse issues Link to comment
LuckyLuciano Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 10 hours ago, Denis Potvin said: I confess that I have substance abuse issues What kind of substance is it that you abuse? Link to comment
Denis Potvin Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 9 hours ago, LuckyLuciano said: What kind of substance is it that you abuse? Well if you're asking for real and not to make fun, drugs and alcohol. I can get into specifics I suppose. but I'm not unique. Many people have these issues. Link to comment
Alflives Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 On January 20, 2016 at 10:43 AM, AppleJack said: I feel I won a small victory last night. Probably because of the clots I have quite a bit inflammation in my chest/underarm area.. So I have been basically having chest/arm pain on both sides (but more my left side) for basically three months. Its so bad I been taking T2's every day as well as using heating pads. I only take 1/4 of a T2 basically four times a day so I don't get addicted. On the weekend I took some blood tests, and had an EKG done to make sure i am healthy enough to go on a new medication. Yesterday my psychiatrist called to tell me to wait a day till she talks to my doctor before starting the medication because something showed up on my EKG. I have a 1st degree AV block. I have no idea what that meant and it was scary to hear you have something going on with your heart ( even if it wasn't an emergency) so I visited DR google and DR Google says my heart is basically beating to slow. They usually don't even treat you for this but monitor to make sure that there isn't any underlying heart issues. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday to get the inflamation looked at and to go and get a 24 hour heart monitor test thingy done. I am terrified there will be something wrong because I have had such horrible luck with my health in the past few months, but mostly because we are about to be cleared (providing there isn't any evidence of a new blood clot) to be able to try for another baby. This is something I need to do sooner then later as the thought of being pregnant again is already super scary for me. I am also 37 so my gynecologist does not want us waiting longer then necessary. Plus it will provide some much needed healing after losing our son in October. So I really don't think I can handle them telling me I have to wait even longer. My small victory was that I didn't go to the ER even though I am having quite a bit anxiety over the fact that my heart beat is slow. This is really big step for me because even two weeks ago I would have gone to the ER even after having two different doctors tell me I don't need medical treatment for this. So It shows just how far I have come in the past few weeks. I do admit I am kind of scared to take my asthma medication (symbacort) as it does make my heart race. I am going talk to my doctor about that and try to skip it for the next day and just use my inhaler if I need it. I really appreciate your honesty in these posts. i can't speak for anyone else, but I gain strength from reading them. Thank you Link to comment
AppleJack Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 (edited) 23 hours ago, Alflives said: I really appreciate your honesty in these posts. i can't speak for anyone else, but I gain strength from reading them. Thank you Oh wow. Thank you so much. I admit it hasn't been easy. I have been an emotional and physical mess since October but everyday I feel more like myself and l am growing stronger. I have had a lot of support both professionally and family and friend wise. I also really appreciate the support everyone on here has given both Ts and I. I also thought I'd share something else with you guys. These two furbrats here have given me so much strength. Just being responsible for them has kept me grounded. Gilly has been a silent but constant friend, giving me 'head bumps' when I need them and kitty kisses. Discord is our crazy, spazzy, chaotic 10 month old kitten (he's the black cat). He is very special and very sweet. He follows me around everywhere I go and is always there when I need a reminder that life does go on. We also believe he had a special bond with our baby and that our child lives on through that bond, so we feel very close to him. I know we have a post yo pet thread and both these furbrats have been posted in it before but I thought it was appropriate to share how much these two have helped me. Edited January 23, 2016 by AppleJack 4 Link to comment
brilac Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 2 hours ago, AppleJack said: Oh wow. Thank you so much. I admit it hasn't been easy. I have been an emotional and physical mess since October but everyday I feel more like myself and l am growing stronger. I have had a lot of support both professionally and family and friend wise. I also really appreciate the support everyone on here has given both Ts and I. I also thought I'd share something else with you guys. These two furbrats here have given me so much strength. Just being responsible for them has kept me grounded. Gilly has been a silent but constant friend, giving me 'head bumps' when I need them and kitty kisses. Discord is our crazy, spazzy, chaotic 10 month old kitten (he's the black cat). He is very special and very sweet. He follows me around everywhere I go and is always there when I need a reminder that life does go on. We also believe he had a special bond with our baby and that our child lives on through that bond, so we feel very close to him. I know we have a post yo pet thread and both these furbrats have been posted in it before but I thought it was appropriate to share how much these two have helped me. Your kitties are so cute! Link to comment
AppleJack Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 16 hours ago, brilac said: Your kitties are so cute! Thank you! They are so sweet as well. Link to comment
Johnny Torts Posted January 24, 2016 Share Posted January 24, 2016 Sometimes I get really, really, mad and punch things and throw things and use abusive language. 1 Link to comment
AppleJack Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 We got the autopsy report back on our baby they couldn't find a cause of death. He was perfectly healthy. The doctor thinks his heart skip a beat and just didn't start again but he can't say for sure that's what happened. He basically said it was like the pregnancy version of SIDS. There just isn't an answer and our baby should be alive. My original due date is coming up in a few weeks. It's very frustrating. I should have a baby instead I get ashes and a teddy bear in his memory. I thought if I had an answer, a reason for his death I'd be okay. We would at least know what happened to our son but there's nothing. Link to comment
aGENT Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 2 hours ago, AppleJack said: We got the autopsy report back on our baby they couldn't find a cause of death. He was perfectly healthy. The doctor thinks his heart skip a beat and just didn't start again but he can't say for sure that's what happened. He basically said it was like the pregnancy version of SIDS. There just isn't an answer and our baby should be alive. My original due date is coming up in a few weeks. It's very frustrating. I should have a baby instead I get ashes and a teddy bear in his memory. I thought if I had an answer, a reason for his death I'd be okay. We would at least know what happened to our son but there's nothing. 1 Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 made it a week without any liquor. it's been rough with the withdrawal and all, took some time from working to get my **** together but im about ready to get back out on the work force. it's getting better, man Link to comment
Apples Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 2 minutes ago, Twilight Sparkle said: made it a week without any liquor. it's been rough with the withdrawal and all, took some time from working to get my **** together but im about ready to get back out on the work force. it's getting better, man And you will be. Because I'm here for you 1 Link to comment
Twilight Sparkle Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 5 minutes ago, Apples said: And you will be. Because I'm here for you 1 Link to comment
Mathew Barzal Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 My dad died last night, I have no idea where to start or what to do. It's just me my sibling and my mom right now. People will be depending on me to be the man of the house... 3 Link to comment
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