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TOMapleLaughs

Australian Prime Minister Confirms Mayans Correct: Apocalypse Near

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CANBERRA (Reuters) - According to Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, the Mayans were right and the apocalypse is near.

In a spoof 50-second video appearance promoting a local radio station's breakfast show, Gillard provided hair-raising details that she said would come when the world ends this month, as the ancient Mayans calendar predicted.

With the straight face she often uses in a normal press conference, and surrounded by Australian national flags, Gillard addressed viewers as "My dear remaining fellow Australians."

"The end of world is coming. It wasn't Y2K, it wasn't even the carbon price," said Gillard firmly. "It turns out that the Mayan calendar is true."

Y2K was the computer glitch feared globally just before the year 2000, while the carbon tax refers to a major controversial policy put forward by her Labour government in 2012.

She went into terrifying details about the end of the world such as "flesh-eating zombies" and "demonic hell beasts", but then wooed her constituents with promises.

"If you know one thing about me it is this: I will always fight for you to the very end," she said, but noted that there is also a bright spot.

"At least this means I won't have to do Q&A again," she said, referring to an Australian TV show where politicians usually have to face tough questions from the audience.

A spokesman for Gillard said the video, which was uploaded by radio station Triple J on Thursday and has already been viewed more than 232,000 times on YouTube, was simply a spoof.

"It's just bit of fun," he told Reuters. "It's just a bit of humour for the end of the year. Nothing else."

The video comes out in the wake of a phone hoax in which two Australian presenters from another local radio station called the hospital which is treating Prince William's wife Kate and posed as Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles to ask questions about her condition.

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Writers at the Onion are going to be pissed that they got scooped on this one.

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Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.

They are more no nonsense. ore about what is right and functional as opposed to worried about if some minority interest group is gonna get their feelings hurt.

They have mandatory voting in Oz. You actually get a fine in the mail if you don't vote and don't have an excuse. This leads to more representative, responsible no nonsense government. It also creates a more educated and involved populus.

Their education system is empowering for the people.You can choose whatever field you want and go through school without coming out of it with mortgage sized debt. You still have to pay back your student loans but not until you start earning a certain amount of money. Technically, you could still be paying your loans back when you retire.

Canada, on the other hand, puts the onus almost entirely on the student to start repaying the loan as soon as possible, with interest of course. This can be really crippling to young people starting out. It can also lead to a less educated population because the need to make money overpowers a desire to better yourself from an eductional perspective. What happens then? Well, the younger generation winds up in the trades (nothing wrong with that) or in debt to their eyeballs with a degree and no workforce experience.

Then the government has a skill shortage and we have to go looking outside our own country to fill the positions.

Canada could learn alot from Australia, including when to cut the BS and when to be able to take a joke.

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"Flesh-eating zombies, demonic hell-beasts... or the domination of K-Pop"

:lol:

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I feel like a lot of people probably took it seriously.

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Dec 21st will be the end.....

of buttman's(bettman) commissioner status of the nhl.

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:lol: This guy just wants attention. He's just talking out of his arse.
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Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.

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Another thing we could do differently here is the welfare system, or "Dole" as it is called in Australia.If you are on the Dole in Oz, you can also work through government programs to supplement your income and actually earn part of your living.

In contrast, in Canada, people have come to feel entitled to a hand out and will actually expand great amounts of effort to get some welfare, then complain that it isn't enough to live on. That ain't right!!!

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Hahaha, srs bidness.

I'll bet some people were hysterical, thinking that this was real.

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Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.

They are more no nonsense. ore about what is right and functional as opposed to worried about if some minority interest group is gonna get their feelings hurt.

They have mandatory voting in Oz. You actually get a fine in the mail if you don't vote and don't have an excuse. This leads to more representative, responsible no nonsense government. It also creates a more educated and involved populus.

Their education system is empowering for the people.You can choose whatever field you want and go through school without coming out of it with mortgage sized debt. You still have to pay back your student loans but not until you start earning a certain amount of money. Technically, you could still be paying your loans back when you retire.

Canada, on the other hand, puts the onus almost entirely on the student to start repaying the loan as soon as possible, with interest of course. This can be really crippling to young people starting out. It can also lead to a less educated population because the need to make money overpowers a desire to better yourself from an eductional perspective. What happens then? Well, the younger generation winds up in the trades (nothing wrong with that) or in debt to their eyeballs with a degree and no workforce experience.

Then the government has a skill shortage and we have to go looking outside our own country to fill the positions.

Canada could learn alot from Australia, including when to cut the BS and when to be able to take a joke.

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tuition in australia isn't dramatically cheaper than it is in canada, and canada has re-payment assistance plans that also defer payment if you make below a certain amount, post-graduation. two of my recently graduated friends both have had all their loans (including interest) held off until they make x amount. just because canadian students don't take advantage of these opportunities doesn't mean they don't exist

and just because people are required to vote doesn't mean those votes come from more informed people. and compulsory voting doesn't necessarily mean quality politicians, either. they're just like the politicians here. money rules. let's not pretend australia's political system is somehow above or beyond the same pitfalls that other major politicians fall into. it's just as corrupt, dishonest, and money driven as any other major western economy.

grass is always greener blah blah

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I'm not trying to be an expert, just going off of experience, what I have witnessed and hearsay from my Australian wife.

From what I can see, their systems are more no nonsense in general. Not they they are perfect by any means.

As for our politics, I have a hard time believing that my vote counts for anything anymore. Canadian politicians are basically marionettes with corporate ceo's pulling their strings and making them dance. Voting in Canada is basically a placebo.

Mandatory voting has to be better for the people, in a democratic system, even if half the population is retarded.

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