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Australian Prime Minister Confirms Mayans Correct: Apocalypse Near


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#1 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:07 PM

CANBERRA (Reuters) - According to Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard, the Mayans were right and the apocalypse is near.

In a spoof 50-second video appearance promoting a local radio station's breakfast show, Gillard provided hair-raising details that she said would come when the world ends this month, as the ancient Mayans calendar predicted.

With the straight face she often uses in a normal press conference, and surrounded by Australian national flags, Gillard addressed viewers as "My dear remaining fellow Australians."

"The end of world is coming. It wasn't Y2K, it wasn't even the carbon price," said Gillard firmly. "It turns out that the Mayan calendar is true."

Y2K was the computer glitch feared globally just before the year 2000, while the carbon tax refers to a major controversial policy put forward by her Labour government in 2012.

She went into terrifying details about the end of the world such as "flesh-eating zombies" and "demonic hell beasts", but then wooed her constituents with promises.

"If you know one thing about me it is this: I will always fight for you to the very end," she said, but noted that there is also a bright spot.

"At least this means I won't have to do Q&A again," she said, referring to an Australian TV show where politicians usually have to face tough questions from the audience.

A spokesman for Gillard said the video, which was uploaded by radio station Triple J on Thursday and has already been viewed more than 232,000 times on YouTube, was simply a spoof.

"It's just bit of fun," he told Reuters. "It's just a bit of humour for the end of the year. Nothing else."

The video comes out in the wake of a phone hoax in which two Australian presenters from another local radio station called the hospital which is treating Prince William's wife Kate and posed as Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles to ask questions about her condition.


LOL When it actually happens. Before, y'know, the end.

comeundone.gif


#2 Jägermeister

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:14 PM

I feel like a lot of people probably took it seriously.

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#3 Shift-4

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:19 PM

Writers at the Onion are going to be pissed that they got scooped on this one.
Hockey is the only sport, the rest are just games.

#4 lowest common denominator

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:46 PM

Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.

They are more no nonsense. ore about what is right and functional as opposed to worried about if some minority interest group is gonna get their feelings hurt.

They have mandatory voting in Oz. You actually get a fine in the mail if you don't vote and don't have an excuse. This leads to more representative, responsible no nonsense government. It also creates a more educated and involved populus.

Their education system is empowering for the people.You can choose whatever field you want and go through school without coming out of it with mortgage sized debt. You still have to pay back your student loans but not until you start earning a certain amount of money. Technically, you could still be paying your loans back when you retire.

Canada, on the other hand, puts the onus almost entirely on the student to start repaying the loan as soon as possible, with interest of course. This can be really crippling to young people starting out. It can also lead to a less educated population because the need to make money overpowers a desire to better yourself from an eductional perspective. What happens then? Well, the younger generation winds up in the trades (nothing wrong with that) or in debt to their eyeballs with a degree and no workforce experience.
Then the government has a skill shortage and we have to go looking outside our own country to fill the positions.

Canada could learn alot from Australia, including when to cut the BS and when to be able to take a joke.

#5 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:51 PM

Strewth!

comeundone.gif


#6 Phil_314

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 02:51 PM

"Flesh-eating zombies, demonic hell-beasts... or the domination of K-Pop"

:lol:

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.


Jesus LOVES YOU!
2012, meet Matthew 24:36-47!

14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


#7 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:24 PM

I feel like a lot of people probably took it seriously.


War of the Worlds, Orson Welles,
And The Invasion from Mars

The ability to confuse audiences en masse may have first become obvious as a result of one of the most infamous mistakes in history. It happened the day before Halloween, on Oct. 30, 1938, when millions of Americans tuned in to a popular radio program that featured plays directed by, and often starring, Orson Welles. The performance that evening was an adaptation of the science fiction novel The War of the Worlds, about a Martian invasion of the earth. But in adapting the book for a radio play, Welles made an important change: under his direction the play was written and performed so it would sound like a news broadcast about an invasion from Mars, a technique that, presumably, was intended to heighten the dramatic effect.

As the play unfolded, dance music was interrupted a number of times by fake news bulletins reporting that a "huge flaming object" had dropped on a farm near Grovers Mill, New Jersey. As members of the audience sat on the edge of their collective seat, actors playing news announcers, officials and other roles one would expect to hear in a news report, described the landing of an invasion force from Mars and the destruction of the United States. The broadcast also contained a number of explanations that it was all a radio play, but if members of the audience missed a brief explanation at the beginning, the next one didn't arrive until 40 minutes into the program.
At one point in the broadcast, an actor in a studio, playing a newscaster in the field, described the emergence of one of the aliens from its spacecraft. "Good heavens, something's wriggling out of the shadow like a gray snake," he said, in an appropriately dramatic tone of voice. "Now it's another one, and another. They look like tentacles to me. There, I can see the thing's body. It's large as a bear and it glistens like wet leather. But that face. It...it's indescribable. I can hardly force myself to keep looking at it. The eyes are black and gleam like a serpent. The mouth is V-shaped with saliva dripping from its rimless lips that seem to quiver and pulsate....The thing is raising up. The crowd falls back. They've seen enough. This is the most extraordinary experience. I can't find words. I'm pulling this microphone with me as I talk. I'll have to stop the description until I've taken a new position. Hold on, will you please, I'll be back in a minute."
As it listened to this simulation of a news broadcast, created with voice acting and sound effects, a portion of the audience concluded that it was hearing an actual news account of an invasion from Mars. People packed the roads, hid in cellars, loaded guns, even wrapped their heads in wet towels as protection from Martian poison gas, in an attempt to defend themselves against aliens, oblivious to the fact that they were acting out the role of the panic-stricken public that actually belonged in a radio play. Not unlike Stanislaw Lem's deluded populace, people were stuck in a kind of virtual world in which fiction was confused for fact.
News of the panic (which was conveyed via genuine news reports) quickly generated a national scandal. There were calls, which never went anywhere, for government regulations of broadcasting to ensure that a similar incident wouldn't happen again. The victims were also subjected to ridicule, a reaction that can commonly be found, today, when people are taken in by simulations. A cartoon in the New York World-Telegram, for example, portrayed a character who confuses the simulations of the entertainment industry with reality. In one box, the character is shown trying to stick his hand into the radio to shake hands with Amos n' Andy. In another, he reports to a police officer that there is "Black magic!!! There's a little wooden man -- Charlie McCarthy -- and he's actually talking!"
In a prescient column, in the New York Tribune, Dorothy Thompson foresaw that the broadcast revealed the way politicians could use the power of mass communications to create theatrical illusions, to manipulate the public.
"All unwittingly, Mr. Orson Welles and the Mercury Theater of the Air have made one of the most fascinating and important demonstrations of all time," she wrote. "They have proved that a few effective voices, accompanied by sound effects, can convince masses of people of a totally unreasonable, completely fantastic proposition as to create a nation-wide panic.


There have been aussies running in the streets with suacepans on their heads and signs saying the end is near :lol:

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#8 jatylo

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:50 PM

Dec 21st will be the end.....

of buttman's(bettman) commissioner status of the nhl.

#9 Pears

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:52 PM

:lol: This guy just wants attention. He's just talking out of his arse.

In my eyes drouin is overrated he can score in the qmjhl but did nothing in last two gold medal games that canada lost. Fox will be better pro than him talk to me in five yrs


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#10 TOMapleLaughs

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 03:56 PM

^ This person may not have read the op?

lol

comeundone.gif


#11 RUPERTKBD

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:03 PM

Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.


Anyone else remember Highway 86 during Expo? A concrete ribbon loaded with every manner of transportation (cars, trucks, boats, planes, etc...)

...the Aussies thought that we had forgotten one, so one morning Expo patrons were treated to an additional item on the ash-colored highway...

...a grey bathtub.
Orland Kurtenbach and Dennis Kearns had just been torched 8-1 by the Habs, but they still took time to come out to meet us, some fellow BC boys who were playing hockey in Montreal. THAT"S what being a Canuck is!

#12 Red Light Racicot

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

They get the cool prime minister... while were stuck with the douchebag...

Lame.

Edited by Red Light Racicot, 06 December 2012 - 04:44 PM.


#13 lowest common denominator

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Posted 06 December 2012 - 05:22 PM

Mandatory voting! It works!

#14 lowest common denominator

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 09:37 AM

Another thing we could do differently here is the welfare system, or "Dole" as it is called in Australia.If you are on the Dole in Oz, you can also work through government programs to supplement your income and actually earn part of your living.

In contrast, in Canada, people have come to feel entitled to a hand out and will actually expand great amounts of effort to get some welfare, then complain that it isn't enough to live on. That ain't right!!!

#15 Jai604

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 11:25 AM

Hahaha, srs bidness.

I'll bet some people were hysterical, thinking that this was real.

RIP LB RR PD


#16 GLASSJAW

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:08 PM

Australians are awesome. We have alot of similarities with them but could learn alot from the way they do things, too.

They are more no nonsense. ore about what is right and functional as opposed to worried about if some minority interest group is gonna get their feelings hurt.

They have mandatory voting in Oz. You actually get a fine in the mail if you don't vote and don't have an excuse. This leads to more representative, responsible no nonsense government. It also creates a more educated and involved populus.

Their education system is empowering for the people.You can choose whatever field you want and go through school without coming out of it with mortgage sized debt. You still have to pay back your student loans but not until you start earning a certain amount of money. Technically, you could still be paying your loans back when you retire.

Canada, on the other hand, puts the onus almost entirely on the student to start repaying the loan as soon as possible, with interest of course. This can be really crippling to young people starting out. It can also lead to a less educated population because the need to make money overpowers a desire to better yourself from an eductional perspective. What happens then? Well, the younger generation winds up in the trades (nothing wrong with that) or in debt to their eyeballs with a degree and no workforce experience.
Then the government has a skill shortage and we have to go looking outside our own country to fill the positions.

Canada could learn alot from Australia, including when to cut the BS and when to be able to take a joke.


tuition in australia isn't dramatically cheaper than it is in canada, and canada has re-payment assistance plans that also defer payment if you make below a certain amount, post-graduation. two of my recently graduated friends both have had all their loans (including interest) held off until they make x amount. just because canadian students don't take advantage of these opportunities doesn't mean they don't exist

and just because people are required to vote doesn't mean those votes come from more informed people. and compulsory voting doesn't necessarily mean quality politicians, either. they're just like the politicians here. money rules. let's not pretend australia's political system is somehow above or beyond the same pitfalls that other major politicians fall into. it's just as corrupt, dishonest, and money driven as any other major western economy.

grass is always greener blah blah

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#17 Buddhas Hand

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 04:54 PM

tuition in australia isn't dramatically cheaper than it is in canada, and canada has re-payment assistance plans that also defer payment if you make below a certain amount, post-graduation. two of my recently graduated friends both have had all their loans (including interest) held off until they make x amount. just because canadian students don't take advantage of these opportunities doesn't mean they don't exist

and just because people are required to vote doesn't mean those votes come from more informed people. and compulsory voting doesn't necessarily mean quality politicians, either. they're just like the politicians here. money rules. let's not pretend australia's political system is somehow above or beyond the same pitfalls that other major politicians fall into. it's just as corrupt, dishonest, and money driven as any other major western economy.

grass is always greener blah blah


Our current batch of politicians are a bunch of duechebags , the only thing they can agree on is their yearly payrise .

I think it's rad when balls beats natural talent

Shaun Palmer

 

The Real war is not between the east and the west. The real war is between intelligent and stupid people.

Marjane Satrapi


#18 lowest common denominator

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Posted 07 December 2012 - 06:05 PM

I'm not trying to be an expert, just going off of experience, what I have witnessed and hearsay from my Australian wife.

From what I can see, their systems are more no nonsense in general. Not they they are perfect by any means.

As for our politics, I have a hard time believing that my vote counts for anything anymore. Canadian politicians are basically marionettes with corporate ceo's pulling their strings and making them dance. Voting in Canada is basically a placebo.

Mandatory voting has to be better for the people, in a democratic system, even if half the population is retarded.




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