confessions

[riffraff]

1 hour ago, Sean Monahan said:

That's the tough part. I remember what I was like- reactive, irrational, volatile, etc. I'm just about certain that it won't be well-received by her, and that's totally normal, but to make matters worse she's incredibly stubborn. 

That's fair.

 

regardless of her reaction you have done the right thing, imo, anyway,  and have alleviated yourself of the responsibility you feel you have because of how much you care for her.  If you are close like you say, it's doubtful you will alienate her by trying to help.

 

after some more thought, have you talked to one of her immediate family members with your ideas and thoughts?  Maybe others close to her have similar feelings about the situation.

Edited April 16, 2017 by riffraff

[Sean Monahan]

8 minutes ago, riffraff said:

after some more thought, have you talked to one of her immediate family members with your ideas and thoughts?  Maybe others close to her have similar feelings about the situation.

That's the thing about the whole situation. Imo there's almost a perfect s?!t storm of circumstances contributing to her depression and that won't do much, if anything, to help her.

 

her family: I don't think they're terribly well educated on depression and mental illness. They seem to ostracize her a bit because of her behaviour, chalking it up to her just being a miserable person. Her dad has given up on her and has said as much. They don't allow her on family vacations or on many family outings (e.g.: whitecaps games, for which they have season tickets) and I think she feels like a guest in her own home, so to speak. 

 

Her friends: to be frank, they're (she's got two close friends she spends most of her time with) just pretty sh***y people. There's a lot to say on this subject but to sum it up they do nothing to truly help her in any sense. Again, I don't think they're st all educated on the topic of depression and even if they were I don't think they have the skills, the wherewithal, or the gusto to really bite the bullet and help. In a lot of ways they're immature, self-destructive, and self-centred.

 

her job: she's a fit model for an unnamed athletic company that really trumps these ideas of "healthy mind, healthy you" and whatnot but in reality they cause more problems and solve none. She's got a tremendously athletic body, she played college volleyball. You'd think she was the exact kind of person a company like this would want as an ambassador of theirs but that's not the case. Last week they had all their measurements done (every 6 months) and 10 of her measurements were in the "red zone" (unacceptable). 5 were in the "yellow zone" which is okay for now but needs to be improved. Only 5 were in the "green zone", so essentially she was told that 75% of her body is undesirable, unattractive, etc. The sad part is that this was actually an "improvement" from 6 months prior when she only had 2-3 measurements in the green zone. She was happy about this but I found it kind of heartbreaking. 

 

So her family, her friends, and her job (essentially her whole life) seem to be pretty significant factors in what's going on in regards to her mental health. I don't think she has the knowledge or the skills to realize how messed up this is and how badly she needs help, and her family/friends don't either. 

[riffraff]

8 minutes ago, Sean Monahan said:

That's the thing about the whole situation. Imo there's almost a perfect s?!t storm of circumstances contributing to her depression and that won't do much, if anything, to help her.

 

her family: I don't think they're terribly well educated on depression and mental illness. They seem to ostracize her a bit because of her behaviour, chalking it up to her just being a miserable person. Her dad has given up on her and has said as much. They don't allow her on family vacations or on many family outings (e.g.: whitecaps games, for which they have season tickets) and I think she feels like a guest in her own home, so to speak. 

 

Her friends: to be frank, they're (she's got two close friends she spends most of her time with) just pretty sh***y people. There's a lot to say on this subject but to sum it up they do nothing to truly help her in any sense. Again, I don't think they're st all educated on the topic of depression and even if they were I don't think they have the skills, the wherewithal, or the gusto to really bite the bullet and help. In a lot of ways they're immature, self-destructive, and self-centred.

 

her job: she's a fit model for an unnamed athletic company that really trumps these ideas of "healthy mind, healthy you" and whatnot but in reality they cause more problems and solve none. She's got a tremendously athletic body, she played college volleyball. You'd think she was the exact kind of person a company like this would want as an ambassador of theirs but that's not the case. Last week they had all their measurements done (every 6 months) and 10 of her measurements were in the "red zone" (unacceptable). 5 were in the "yellow zone" which is okay for now but needs to be improved. Only 5 were in the "green zone", so essentially she was told that 75% of her body is undesirable, unattractive, etc. The sad part is that this was actually an "improvement" from 6 months prior when she only had 2-3 measurements in the green zone. She was happy about this but I found it kind of heartbreaking. 

 

So her family, her friends, and her job (essentially her whole life) seem to be pretty significant factors in what's going on in regards to her mental health. I don't think she has the knowledge or the skills to realize how messed up this is and how badly she needs help, and her family/friends don't either. 

Wow that sounds entrenched.  

 

She needs an outlet.

 

Hate to say say it but it sounds like it may be on you as you have the best picture of her environment and situation.  Good luck.

Edited April 16, 2017 by riffraff

[Sean Monahan]

1 minute ago, riffraff said:

Wow that sounds entrenched.  

 

Hate to say say it but it sounds like it may be on you as you have the best picture of her environment and situation.  Good luck.

That's what I'm thinking. Without some sort of miracle epiphany on her end I don't really see it happening otherwise.

 

Thanks riff. Feels good just to get this stuff off my chest.

[riffraff]

2 minutes ago, Sean Monahan said:

That's what I'm thinking. Without some sort of miracle epiphany on her end I don't really see it happening otherwise.

 

Thanks riff. Feels good just to get this stuff off my chest.

You bet man.  It sounds like you're carrying a load no doubt.  Make sure you take some time for Sean monahan too.

[Twilight Sparkle]

15 hours ago, Sean Monahan said:

That's the tough part. I remember what I was like- reactive, irrational, volatile, etc. I'm just about certain that it won't be well-received by her, and that's totally normal, but to make matters worse she's incredibly stubborn. 

in her case it just seems like she would probably leave you behind a wall, because that's where she feels the most comfortable. it's so easy to just not talk about anything, and go about their business. the job she chose was her choice. no one put a gun to her head to work for a cut throat industry. it all comes down to the company she's with, and if you say she hangs out with self destructive people, then that's the problem. i don't know the age of this girl, so maybe she's in that invincible 20-something year old phase, where "i can take the world on my own" kind of attitude

 

depression is a subject a lot of people choose to be ignorant about, because people see depression as "weakness" when they themselves are keeping a lot of **** inside. no one's perfect, and we all have demons, but not everyone figures that out right away

 

you can't exactly just go up to someone who you suspect suffers from something and just call them out and expect nothing to happen. the only thing you can do is let them know that you're there if you ever wanna chat at all, gimme a call. you're just letting them know that someone does care, but you're not exactly "going there." after that, it's up to them to help themselves

 

it sounds kinda harsh but i've, and you've been through way too much **** to try to say the "right" things anymore. you care about them, sure, but there's no real point in carrying this burden and feel like you're responsible for someone else

Edited April 17, 2017 by Twilight Sparkle

[Tre Mac]

On ‎15‎/‎04‎/‎2017 at 4:10 AM, falcon45ca said:

I've never thought about suicide as much as this past week.

I'm absolutely not doing it, so please don't call anyone or try & talk me off a ledge.

It's kinda like...seeing a rival team play well & saying "Damn, I can see why people cheer for them."

Hang in there buds,  stormy clouds always dissipate with time.

[Tre Mac]

From time to time I'll open the fridge while no one is looking and I'll take a swig of sweet and sour sauce.  Why?

[Guest]

These past few months have been quite tough for me. For a while I started to believe I was gay(I don't mean it's a bad thing to be gay) and other people were none too kind about it either. People always say 'sticks and stones' crap but when you're on the receiving end and you don't know who to trust, it can just be a bit difficult. Add that to the fact that I may have a bit of depression, an you have a pretty terrible time. I've spent many a day trying to figure things out but I get so confused. 

 

The people I trust and talk with the most have been shutting me out or doing other things when all I need sometime is someone to talk to. 

 

It's been better lately(playoffs have helped me take my mind off of it). Just posting this makes me feel like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders. 

 

/sob story

[mau5trap]

52 minutes ago, Stamkos said:

These past few months have been quite tough for me. For a while I started to believe I was gay(I don't mean it's a bad thing to be gay) and other people were none too kind about it either. People always say 'sticks and stones' crap but when you're on the receiving end and you don't know who to trust, it can just be a bit difficult. Add that to the fact that I may have a bit of depression, an you have a pretty terrible time. I've spent many a day trying to figure things out but I get so confused. 

 

The people I trust and talk with the most have been shutting me out or doing other things when all I need sometime is someone to talk to. 

 

It's been better lately(playoffs have helped me take my mind off of it). Just posting this makes me feel like a huge weight's been lifted off my shoulders. 

 

/sob story

Not the same situation, but it's been tough for me recently as well. 

 

PM me if you ever want to talk. 

[Tre Mac]

Well today(Apr 27th) is always a somber day for me.  I lost my mother on this day from cancer and it's also National Daffodil Day where we as Canadians remember and honor those who fought or continue to fight against this horrible disease:

 

Quote

Every three minutes another Canadian is faced with fighting cancer. The Canadian Cancer Society wants them to know that they are not alone.

This year, as part of its annual Daffodil Month activities, the Society is stepping up the fight against cancer by designating April 27 as Daffodil Day.

"During Daffodil Month we're asking Canadians to wear a daffodil pin to honour the people in our lives affected by cancer," says Peter Goodhand, CEO and President, Canadian Cancer Society. "Throughout April our hope is that thousands of Canadians across Canada will be proudly wearing our pin to show their support for people with cancer. United by the daffodil, we will be saying that no one has to face cancer alone and that we won't give up until this disease is defeated."

The Society will be encouraging Canadians to do something special on Daffodil Day for those touched by cancer or contribute to the fight against this disease. For example:

• Tell a loved one or friend with cancer that you are thinking of them; let them know about the Society's information and support programs.
• Do something special for someone you know with cancer, such as making a meal, babysitting or doing an errand.
• Talk with your provincial or local politicians about the importance of fighting back against cancer and tell them how they can join with the Society in this fight.
• Make a presentation in your community to help raise awareness about how Canadians can fight back against cancer.

"We are thankful for Canadians' contributions to our cancer fight year-round, but on Daffodil Day we want to create a groundswell of hope and activities that will make a difference to both cancer patients and the fight against this disease," says Goodhand. "Wearing a daffodil pin throughout April and especially on Daffodil Day will be a visible symbol for people with cancer that thousands of Canadians are standing with them as they go through their cancer journey."

Events will be taking place in communities across Canada during Daffodil Month leading up to Daffodil Day. Contact your local community Society office to find out more.

"On Daffodil Day we're inviting Canadians to reflect upon the thousands of people in this country who are facing cancer and to think about ways they can help them in their journey," says Paul Lapierre, Vice President, Public Affairs and Cancer Control, Canadian Cancer Society.   "During Daffodil Month, and particularly on Daffodil Day, we also want those with cancer to know that they can turn to the Society for the support they need."

To find out where you can get a daffodil pin contact your local Society office or go to fightback.ca.  The pins are also available at outlets of Curves Canada, First Choice Haircutters, Laura Canada and WirelessWave/Tbooth. While the pin is not being sold for a set price, the Society encourages Canadians to make a donation to help support the fights across Canada.

The Canadian Cancer Society has had Daffodil Days in the past where daffodil flowers have been sold on various designated days in communities across Canada in late March and April. This year's Daffodil Day on April 27 will have a different focus. The Society wants to create one special day for Canadians to visibly show their support for those on a cancer journey. Daffodil flowers will continue to be sold in many communities throughout Canada.

By supporting the Canadian Cancer Society during Daffodil Month and on Daffodil Day Canadians will be joining a team that works hard to fight cancer in Canada. Your donation will help the Canadian Cancer Society:

• prevent cancer
• fund research to outsmart cancer
• empower, inform and support Canadians living with cancer
• advocate for public policies to improve the health of Canadians

During Daffodil Month Canadians can make a difference by:

• wearing a daffodil pin to show your support for people with cancer
• attending a Daffodil Day event in your community
• buying daffodils, the Society's symbol of hope
• donating to the Canadian Cancer Society when a canvasser knocks on your door
• participating in a Society fundraising event in your community
• signing up to participate in a Relay For Life event in your community

http://www.newswire.ca/news-releases/april-is-daffodil-month---support-a-person-with-cancer-by-wearing-a-daffodil-pin-507919481.html

I miss you mom, RIP with all the other angels.

[riffraff]

On 2017-04-17 at 1:49 PM, Tre Mac said:

From time to time I'll open the fridge while no one is looking and I'll take a swig of sweet and sour sauce.  Why?

Rank dude.

[J-23]

On 2017-03-18 at 7:05 PM, CowBoyCoyote said:

I'm at my limit for snow, I was tempted to drop kick a snowman today

Once my sister and I made a Snowman in front of my house when I was younger. Then some teenagers kicked it down. Then my Dad brought them back and made them apologize LOL. Moral of the story, always build a Snowman in your backyard or a bunch of pricks are going to kick down your hard work.

Edited April 30, 2017 by J-23

[RRypien37]

On 4/7/2017 at 3:03 PM, Twilight Sparkle said:

I was also referred to that but my wait list is like 4 months :x

Try dealing with it head on yourself. I went through a spurt of intense panic attacks about 2 years ago. I refused to take the various medications doctors wanted to give me. Worked on my mental strength/calming techniques/meditation and the panic attacks were completed eliminated over a 1-1.5 year window. I still get anxiety but no legit panic attacks. 

 

Medication for something like this should be a last resort as it is a band-aid not a cure/solution. 

Edited April 30, 2017 by RRypien37

[RRypien37]

On 3/14/2017 at 8:32 PM, Salacious Crumb said:

Stick with hookers. Way less drama, same cost.

High class hoes bruh. 

[Gurn]

7 hours ago, J-23 said:

Once my sister and I made a Snowman in front of my house when I was younger. Then some teenagers kicked it down. Then my Dad brought them back and made them apologize LOL. Moral of the story, always build a Snowman in your backyard or a bunch of pricks are going to kick down your hard work.

Or you build the snowman over top/around a fire hydrant and watch what happens when people try to kick it over.

[brilac]

I've been sick for over a week, and today I took a sick day, but I logged onto my work computer to respond to a few emails and make sure everything is taken care of, that nothing is outstanding, and then I received an email from a few co-workers telling me to go back to bed.  I'm one of these people that want to make sure that everything is taken care of and take care of things that are not taken care of, but I have not really taken care of myself.  I spent all night coughing, and I should go to the doctor, but I don't want to.  I don't have the energy to sit there in the waiting room, sometimes it can take forever.  I may go get some Thai, it's the lunch special right now, get some energy in me, and see how I am doing this evening, since the clinic closes at 8pm, and I have not coughed in an hour, so maybe I need rest, and not to work.  

Edited May 3, 2017 by brilac

[Psylocke]

2 hours ago, brilac said:

I've been sick for over a week, and today I took a sick day, but I logged onto my work computer to respond to a few emails and make sure everything is taken care of, that nothing is outstanding, and then I received an email from a few co-workers telling me to go back to bed.  I'm one of these people that want to make sure that everything is taken care of and take care of things that are not taken care of, but I have not really taken care of myself.  I spent all night coughing, and I should go to the doctor, but I don't want to.  I don't have the energy to sit there in the waiting room, sometimes it can take forever.  I may go get some Thai, it's the lunch special right now, get some energy in me, and see how I am doing this evening, since the clinic closes at 8pm, and I have not coughed in an hour, so maybe I need rest, and not to work.  

I'm the same way. Actually took a sick day today, too. 2nd time I've ever taken a sick day from work in 3 years. 

I'm constantly on my work phone and my friends have to yell at me to put it away on my days off (and when I'm on vacation). 

[Twilight Sparkle]

On 2017-04-30 at 2:23 AM, RRypien37 said:

Try dealing with it head on yourself. I went through a spurt of intense panic attacks about 2 years ago. I refused to take the various medications doctors wanted to give me. Worked on my mental strength/calming techniques/meditation and the panic attacks were completed eliminated over a 1-1.5 year window. I still get anxiety but no legit panic attacks. 

 

Medication for something like this should be a last resort as it is a band-aid not a cure/solution. 

"try dealing it head on yourself"

 

heres why that approach never worked for me

 

with all of these tragedies in my life, with how hard it really is for me to make friends with people, because all of the friends that i've lost over the past few years, being sexually abused as a child by my father, and growing up with an emotionally scarred mother with pretty severe substance abuse problems, spend most of my childhood in and out of foster homes, constantly moving schools so i was never really able to have any friends, being bullied growing up and through high school because i always knew i was different.

 

i was borderline poverty as a kid, so being the "poor kid" is automatically a target for intense bullying, so i had to adapt at a real young age and hang out with the "bad kids", who were in the same spectrum as me to almost protect me, so bullies, would bully the kids who bullied me because they knew what it was like and i felt i wasn't alone, but i never let that "protection" get to my head

 

i was in a, for the lack of a better term, in a war zone growing up. feuds at home, at school and i was put into the "special" program, to add insult to injury in grade 5, because my grades were so bad, because i had absolutely no confidence, and no one "understood why". being a broken kid, in a broken home, living off the food bank donations and i had some pretty mad depression at an age no kid should ever have at that age, and i constantly felt like everyone was against me, and that continued all throughout high school, where i felt it was me vs. the world

 

in grade 8 i was in and out of various therapy programs and i was on so many medications that later in high school, i completely shut down, and said **** it, i'm going to deal with it on my own, so i built a wall and i was safe. things started looking up when i found my first gf in grade 12 but when she cheated on me, literally right in front of me, it broke everything down and i went into a bad place. to make things worse, that same day the counselor called me in and told me that i wasn't going to graduate, and i would finish the grade 12 year, only having my grade 10, because i was in this "special" program for so long. so because i was used as a guinea pig for a program that didn't work, i completely gave up and hung out with some bad people, started doing drugs and basically gave up on life

 

while hanging out with these people and in the middle of my downward spiral, where i basically disappeared from my family and was couch hopping through most of 2006 at various friends houses, and doing what i can to get high, it took seeing someone die in front of me from an overdose and choking on their vomit, while i did nothing about it to open my eyes and see that i don't wanna be like that guy, and that there's still hope, so i left, and walked from downtown hastings, all the way to 49th and victoria in the pouring rain to my parents, after 7 months and tried to clean myself up

 

my parents thought i was just staying at another friends place the entire time, and i kept it secret from them for years, because i've reached an age where i didn't want to break my moms heart with the stuff that i've done, because she tried. she tried to give my sister and i a better quality of life than she had growing up and looking back at it all, i had a roof over my head and some food to get by and a step dad who tried, but later became someone i looked up to and the person i am today

 

from 2013-2017, i've lost 8 close friends, and a baby son, and dealt with a miscarriage, and when my baby son died, i wasn't there to be there for my woman because i wanted to "deal with it on my own." you can only deal with stuff on your own for so long, until you can't anymore, and i'm someone who just couldn't do it alone anymore. i was against medication, because in 2008, i was mixing xanax with alcohol when i relapsed, and didn't trust myself with medication

 

i'm going to my first group meeting in 2 weeks, and i stopped the medication i was on, because i hated the side effects, and now, i'm someone who has a very "out there" personality, and this stuff made me very boring and robotic and i didn't like that feeling

 

and anxiety and panic attacks are a manifestation of everything i've ever tried to "deal with on my own" and my past addictions that kinda scrambled my brain and the ptsd of a lot of stuff i've witnessed at a young age, in high school and post high school and being a rape victim at a young age really can't be solved by yourself

 

while i'm miles better mentally than i was, even 2 years ago, i'm trying to take steps that will make me better, and theres no harm in me admitting defeat and trying counseling again. i've always knew i was a strong person, given what ive gone through, and i was always someone who prided  myself of being strong enough to deal with things on my own and take things day to day, but when it rains, the levee's gonna break, and the paranoia of seeing shrinks because i dont like the feeling of someone trying to get into my head is still a turn off but at the end of the day, people just want to help and i helped myself in all the wrong ways in the past, so now i need professional help for someone to guide me to something that works

 

Edited May 5, 2017 by Twilight Sparkle

[diesel_3]

So, since 2009/10 my life has been pretty crazy, then 2012 I was hit with a serious diagnosis.

In 2013 I found what I thought to be a 'career' job for where I lived but it just became too much for me, I was showing up to work high on medication, operating a motor vehicle then I would come home and have a few beer to take the edge off because I would always think about the next days work, I couldn't just leave it at work, I brought it home with me and everyone in my family suffered.

 

Just this January I quit my job and have been unemployed since, but I have this amazing opportunity to finally do something with my life and had a heart to heart with my wife and asked 'What do you honestly think I would be good at?' I am a guy who has literally worked in almost every sector you can think of. Sawmill, Army, Sales, Security, IT, Telecommunications....list goes on. She said 'I think you would be a really good history teacher' which is crazy because before we even met, I always thought of becoming a high school teacher but always felt too stupid to go to University.

 

I grew up in a small town where the teachers didn't care, they just wanted to get rid of kids like me who were a nuisance (Also had an ADHD diagnosis this year....) so they didn't have to deal with me for another year. I never applied myself, got through with C+'s because I always was able to retain enough info to pass the quizzes and tests. Didn't study once or do any homework all throughout high school, it was a joke, a place for buddies and I to goof off.

 

Fast forward to today, I have always been very interested in world history, strangely enough, American History (I have read about 20 Vietnam War books) as well as Canadian History, I am looking at taking my entire BA at Athabasca through distance, it would get pricey but I have money invested from my time in the Army that could pay for some of it. I am just so scared, I am turning 32 this September, and would be dedicating 5.5 to 6 years to going to school. I feel like i'm 'too old' to do it and should just work another job I hate just to make ends meet.

 

I used to think University was a huge cash grab, you would have people get their degrees then they would be working right beside me at these crappy jobs. Now I am envious of the dedication and will power it takes to grind it out having done that out of high school when you were still essentially a child.

 

Don't really have any questions here, just looking to vent. Any info or encouragement is welcome! haha