VanGnome Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 You can't be serious. I'm deadly serious. You cannot ever understand the context of disciplining a child and being a disciplinarian unless you actually have children to discipline. I used to think the same as you, before I had children. Once my daughter was born, every preconceived notion I ever held regarding raising a kid was flipped on it's ass. As a consequence, I no longer EVER judge a parent when they are out in public and disciplining their kid/kids. It's the same as me not being able to fully comprehend or understand the context of being unable to walk. I cannot empathize, and my opinions on the matter are absolutely meaningless as I just have NO CLUE. Learning to be a parent is sometimes just as hard as a kid learning to be a person. If you haven't gone through it before, then you really have no business providing opinion on the matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyllenhaal Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 My parents spanked me and now I have a BDSM fetish. But seriously I was spanked quite a bit as a kid because my brother always got me in trouble, and it was usually with a wooden spoon. IT F^&%*NG hurt. I'm not against spanking, sometimes you have to do it. But don't use spoons or belts to do it, use an open hand. Hitting a kid lightly on the butt is usually enough to get your point across. When I have kids I'm going to try to not use corporal punishment as a form of discipline. My little brothers who are 9 were spanked for about 6 months between the age of 4 to 5 and it didn't really work on them and I found that taking away their ipods/videogames or TV for the whole day worked a lot better because now when I threaten to take those away they will listen. Spanking isn't for everyone. My older brother was spanked the same amount of times as me and he was a horrible kid, always sneaking out at night, doing drugs at a young age and saying some pretty nasty things to my mom. Thankfully I'm the polar opposite of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inane Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Actually animals are physically reprimanded in nature by their parents, elders and dominant members of the pack; so that's why it works with dogs. All dogs seek the alpha. There are many options when it comes to children outside of physical punishment. I'm not a doctor so I won't debate the comparitive mental capacities of a dog/2 year old but I garuntee the child is far more advanced emotionally at this age. I didn't even think spanking 2 year old was a thing. I assumed we were taking about much older kids. I'm baffled that parents would spank a 2 year old like it's a dog. And the rationale being it's too young to know any better? Wtf. Edit. The whole use your hand and not a weapon thing is hilarious. Hit your kid, oh yeah, but don't use a spoon! That's just too far! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJDDawg Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 LOL this. To this day I vividly remember the sound of the belt ripping through the belt loops as my pops made his way towards either my brother or I or both..... My moms weapon of choice was the wooden spoon which shattered several times to which we would start to laugh at as we got older.... I also remember my mom giving me the option of an immediate spanking or wait till my dad came home. We turned out fine ftr. My mom and I have a solid relationship and I love(d) and miss my dad dearly RIP. I didn't become violent or aggressive nor did I become timid or frightened. I have three children from 2-7 and I don't spank them. Not saying they don't deserve it at times and I don't necessarily disagree with doing it, or why some parents would. It's always a learning process, u don't have all the answers and I'm just not convinced it would work with my kids. On a personal level, I would never want it to be a reaction as a result of me losing control and being angry. I would never look down on another parent for spanking unless it's obvious abuse and an easy out. Parenting is tough and judging sucks. Aside from all this, the risk of an outside agency taking your kids away is much higher these days...there is way more chance of an "intervention" if your kid mentions the word spanking...and I would say public spanking is taboo. Yes the wooden spoon. A remarkable tool really that would be used for both discipline and stirring the tomato sauce. My mom used the wooden spoon as well. She just didn't need to use it that much as she was more empathetic. Dad on the other hand not as much. It was understood that it was done out of Love, for the desire to make sure we understood the boundaries of right and wrong. Didn't make it any less painfull though and truth be told, my brother and I more often than not probably deserved it. It was a different time that's for sure. My kids are teenagers now and I couldn't even fathom whipping them with the belt as young kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I didn't even think spanking 2 year old was a thing. I assumed we were taking about much older kids. I'm baffled that parents would spank a 2 year old like it's a dog. And the rationale being it's too young to know any better? Wtf. Edit. The whole use your hand and not a weapon thing is hilarious. Hit your kid, oh yeah, but don't use a spoon! That's just too far! My post was in response to a dog:toddler comparison. Spanking a two year old is ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 My post was in response to a dog:toddler comparison. Spanking a two year old is ridiculous. Not according to some... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baka Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Actually animals are physically reprimanded in nature by their parents, elders and dominant members of the pack; so that's why it works with dogs. All dogs seek the alpha. There are many options when it comes to children outside of physical punishment. I'm not a doctor so I won't debate the comparitive mental capacities of a dog/2 year old but I garuntee the child is far more advanced emotionally at this age. I didn't even think spanking 2 year old was a thing. I assumed we were taking about much older kids. I'm baffled that parents would spank a 2 year old like it's a dog. And the rationale being it's too young to know any better? Wtf. Jesus... xD How is everyone still not getting the dog line? No one is training their kid using dog methods... If you read my post I said "almost" because to me it didn't look all that much different than how one would stop a dog from a bad habit which related from my own training of my dogs which came from my own dog trainer who referenced dogs mental capacities being along the lines of a 2 year old. As far as my actual point goes for those who didn't read. I don't support spanking but that was one scenario I witnessed where I felt it worked fine. I don't know the kids exact age at the time other than it was around 2 maybe a little over or a little under. He could walk but not speak and did not understand most words. He was eating dirt off the floors anywhere he went and his parents who weren't a spanking household used that method to get him to stop which he did (and by spanking as I said it was a gentle tap on the wrist). They also did this for a few other hazardous habits he had during that age period. As of now he is 5 or 6 and they don't spank him because they can talk to him. He seems like a normal kid without any mental issues or PTSD xD If you want to call them bad parents you are welcome to but at least answer my question and explain why you feel what they did has forever damaged this kid xD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theminister Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 There is a time and place for a smack IMO. If your child is not paying attention, say at a busy crosswalk, and is about to put themselves in mortal danger then a shock to their system to let them know there is serious consequences to a situation is appropriate. It not about abuse. It's about saving their life now and in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swedish elite3 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If I did something bad I was sure to be spanked or get a good yelling at or some sort of disipline. Always terrified me to get in trouble lol nothing like the old man getting mad taught me how to be a respectful and good kid. I'm 21 and look around at a lot of other kids and think how disrespectful and immature they are and they sure as hell are learning it somewhere and that it's ok to behave like that. My kids will be raised the same was I was that's for sure Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jägermeister Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 A lot of people don't know how to parent though. I guess that's another, more impactful reservation of stupid. Coming from somebody who works with children. This. So much this. If a kid misbehaves I'll give him a timeout. You'd be amazed at how many parents think that isn't "fair" to their child, or (which is just as bad IMO) don't even inquire into the reasoning behind giving the timeout. "Oh Timmy, you were bad in class today? Okay well let's go to get some ice cream now." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Jesus... xD How is everyone still not getting the dog line? No one is training their kid using dog methods... If you read my post I said "almost" because to me it didn't look all that much different than how one would stop a dog from a bad habit which related from my own training of my dogs which came from my own dog trainer who referenced dogs mental capacities being along the lines of a 2 year old. As far as my actual point goes for those who didn't read. I don't support spanking but that was one scenario I witnessed where I felt it worked fine. I don't know the kids exact age at the time other than it was around 2 maybe a little over or a little under. He could walk but not speak and did not understand most words. He was eating dirt off the floors anywhere he went and his parents who weren't a spanking household used that method to get him to stop which he did (and by spanking as I said it was a gentle tap on the wrist). They also did this for a few other hazardous habits he had during that age period. As of now he is 5 or 6 and they don't spank him because they can talk to him. He seems like a normal kid without any mental issues or PTSD xD If you want to call them bad parents you are welcome to but at least answer my question and explain why you feel what they did has forever damaged this kid xD Hey if it worked for them great. I just wouldn't spank a two year old. Imo there is nothing a two year old could do that would cause me to feel that physical punishment was the only answer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theminister Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 There is a major distinction to be made between a smack on the heiny and premeditated spanking. One is not intended to cause pain but shock and the other is corporal punishment. The former is in the moment and the other shows a lack of alternate parenting skills. If it requires more than one whack you are doing it wrong IMHO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 There is a major distinction to be made between a smack on the heiny and premeditated spanking. One is not intended to cause pain but shock and the other is corporal punishment. The former is in the moment and the other shows a lack of alternate parenting skills. If it requires more than one whack you are doing it wrong IMHO. Agreed. I mean as you described...a crosswalk does not allow time for child psychology.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theminister Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Agreed. I mean as you described...a crosswalk does not allow time for child psychology.... IMO it IS child psychology. How, when, and frequency will dictate its usefulness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Provost Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Coming from somebody who works with children. This. So much this. If a kid misbehaves I'll give him a timeout. You'd be amazed at how many parents think that isn't "fair" to their child, or (which is just as bad IMO) don't even inquire into the reasoning behind giving the timeout. "Oh Timmy, you were bad in class today? Okay well let's go to get some ice cream now." Sorry... timeouts are now considered bad as well.... http://time.com/3404701/discipline-time-out-is-not-good/ I understand it is hard to keep up with the parenting style de jour... Too much judging of parenting happens, especially by non-parents. If you have managed to get your child to bed alive; reasonably clean; with only enough TV in order to keep you sane and the house from being condemned; and having had something more nutritious that day than fruit leather and skittles.. .I salute you! Everyone else can go take a flying leap and go back to pretending they are better at being the GM of a hockey team than the professionals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Strangelove Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I got the wooden spoon as a kid when ever I was being a little sh*t which was alot and I became a well behaved halfway decent human being. Now I think I'll not use the spoon on my own kids instead I'll send them to their rooms then I will blast Justin Beiber or Nickleback music in said room until they agree to behave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggs50 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Spanking? LOL. White kids got it easy. A little wack on the behind is nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VanGnome Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I got the wooden spoon as a kid when ever I was being a little sh*t which was alot and I became a well behaved halfway decent human being. Now I think I'll not use the spoon on my own kids instead I'll send them to their rooms then I will blast Justin Beiber or Nickleback music in said room until they agree to behave. Didn't they do that to detainees in Guantanamo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Didn't they do that to detainees in Guantanamo? That would be skinny puppy.... Nickleback is just not humane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Offensive Threat Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 My Dad only ever spanked me once when I was about 9 or 10. Im not going to say what I did but I deserved it. He had tears while doing it. Those tears stayed with me to this day. They had an impact no spank could ever have. Timeouts work. God my kids hated timeouts. Theyd cry and fuss but they worked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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