It's a process Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Found this on hfboards. Absolutely hilarious. After debuting their new and not entirely good-looking new duds Tuesday, Team USA also took the opportunity to photograph the invitees to their orientation camp wearing them. Many of the resulting photos, as evidenced by the shot of Ryan Kesler above, were creepy. Or just weird. For whatever reason, they're all backlit in pink, perhaps inspired by Miley Cyrus's new album art, giving the entire shoot this off-putting, late 1980s dating video vibe. On top of that, several of Team USA's players are goofy-looking. What we're left with, then, is comedy gold. Here are our 10 favorites. 10. Keith Yandle One assumes Keith Yandle likes his martinis shaken, not stirred. Ease up, Yandle. You may be going to Russia, but you do not have a license to kill. Stop furrowing your brow like that. We're starting to wonder if you're trying to fry our brains inside of our skulls. 9. Patrick Kane You are a father. The doorbell rings. It's your daughter's date. You are met with this. "No," you say. "Just no." 8. Brandon Saad Look at that neck. Perfect for any team willing to go into a defensive shell to protect a lead. 7. Justin Faulk "Whatcha thinkin' bout, Justin?" "Flesh." 6. Phil Kessel "I know what you're thinking: Can a guy with shimmery stars on his shoulders go H.A.M. on you? And the answer to that question is 'Phil Kessel.'" 5. Danny DeKeyser "Welcome back to Love Connection. Let's meet our first suitor, Danny. He describes himself as a practical joker and he loves flying small planes." "The first thing I do with a new lady is I take her to meet my mom and my three sisters, and if they don't approve, I don't approve." 4. Dustin Byfuglien This photo was taken literally seconds after Dustin Byfuglien was told that the new USA logo was, in fact, not made of Twizzlers and sour cream. 3. Jimmy Howard Jimmy Howard, when asked to recreate his "Lidstrom and Rafalski have decided to retire" face. His eyes are a preternatural horror. Imagine seeing this staring back at you during a round of speed-dating. 2. Dustin Brown Dustin Brown's incredibly sarcastic thumbs-up is in response to: A. Being asked about whether he likes the new jersey design. B. Being asked about whether he likes the Sedins. C. Challenging someone in the Stanley Cup of Thumb-wrestling. D. Providing a place for noted "Dustin Brown is a coward" critic Jeff Marek to sit. 1. Paul Stastny Let us never let Paul Stastny be photographed again. All credit to this article: http://sports.yahoo....-190110715.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smashian Kassian Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Yeah I just finished reading that on HF too, so funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warhippy Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Wow....wow....just wow...Kessel, stop eating. MMmmm flesh (gold) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skolozsy2 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Friggin' hilarious!!! Well done to whoever wrote those. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karlsson`s Flo Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 And I thought Russia's jerseys looked bad... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shinkaruk98 Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Kessel and Buff look like they could lose a couple pounds... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. White Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Oh wow those all look horrible. Terrible photographer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Vintage Canuck- Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Pretty funny! Only the Kesler one looks pretty normal, at least to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pears Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Oh my god, that Byfuglien one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drouin Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Lol @ Stastny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baka Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 They all look like registered sex offenders. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Kessel looks fatter than Byfuglien now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erik Karlsson Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Haha Stasny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Full set here: http://www.gettyimages.ca/Search/Search.aspx?contractUrl=2&language=en-US&family=editorial&p=usa+hockey&assetType=image#2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 The Ryan Miller closeups are horrific. Dustin Brown's stupid, stupid face, lol. And yeah, pretty sure Kessel is fatter than Byfuglien now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plum Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Alot of them look overweight.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightHawkSniper Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 The Ryan Miller closeups are horrific. Dustin Brown's stupid, stupid face, lol. And yeah, pretty sure Kessel is fatter than Byfuglien now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted August 27, 2013 Share Posted August 27, 2013 Where can you see the rest of them? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higgyfan Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Team USA = Team Ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoner. Posted August 28, 2013 Share Posted August 28, 2013 Jeez, the closeups of Kesler with a little smile/smirk are terrifying. Hell, they're all terrifying. And Patrick Kane looks like a 12 year old that managed to grow some facial hair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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