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“Jesus Not Coming Back By The Looks Of It”-Vatican


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A SPOKESPERSON for the Vatican has officially announced today that the second coming of Jesus, the only son of the God, may not happen now after all, but urged followers to still continue with their faith, regardless of the news.

Cardinal Giorgio Salvadore told WWN that this years 1,981st anniversary is to be the Vatican’s last in regards to waiting for the Lord to return to Earth.

“We just feel Jesus is not coming back by the looks of it.” he said. “It’s been ages like. He’s probably flat out doing other really good things for people somewhere else.”

Nearly two thousand years ago, Jesus promised his disciples that he would come again in chapter John 14:1-3 of the bible: “There are many homes up where my Father lives, and I am going to prepare them for your coming. When everything is ready, then I will come and get you, so that you can always be with Me where I am. If this weren’t so, I would tell you plainly”

The Vatican defended Jesus’ broken promise, claiming “he was probably drinking wine” at the time when he made the comments.

“Having the ability to turn water into wine had its ups and its downs.” added Cardinal Salvadore. “We all make promises we can’t keep when we’re drunk. Jesus was no different.”

The church said it will now focus attentions on rebuilding its reputation around the world, but will keep an optimistic mind for the savior’s second coming.

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This is offensive

I find blind faith in imaginative stories drummed up by superstitious people thousands of years ago, followed as doctrine in a modern society "offensive".

I'm not saying people cannot have faith, and I'm not even saying that faith or beliefs and religion are mutually exclusive; but what I am saying is that how those beliefs and how that faith is framed in the context of modern times needs to adjust, and the perception needs to adjust instead of being taken at face value.

Trolling such a subject that is so sensitive to many people doesn't help matters at all, but neither does escalating things in a hyper-defensive manner such as this. Rational discussion is rarely had when default behaviors are wholly irrational, it just devolves into a perpetual cat and mouse game.

I'm pretty sure that I remember from my times in Sunday school (before I was able to decide for myself), that facing adversity with courage, humility and grace are one of the behaviors that are taught and supported.

Instead of jumping out of the gun and lashing out because you feel your beliefs are being attacked, take a moment to recognize that the OP while obviously trolling, is also obviously satire, have a chuckle and move on.

There really isn't any need for inflammatory attacks, and I know "because, reasons, because internet" but a change in behavior has to begin somewhere. I'm probably wasting my breath on the majority of folks here, but if one or two can adjust then it will be worthwhile.

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