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Making new friends as an adult


Scottish⑦Canuck

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On 11/27/2018 at 6:14 PM, Scottish⑦Canuck said:

I'm not out there on the street desperately trying to befriend everyone I talk to :lol: I made the topic as it seems like it's a lot more difficult to form friendships after you're done with college and are in to day to day working life. I don't want to give the impression that I'm sitting at home desperately wishing I had a friend haha. I have friends, just none in this city. 

 

Edinburgh. 

A beautiful city except when the Haar sets in and you can't see a thing.

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23 hours ago, PhillipBlunt said:

A tried and true method for me is whenever I go to a new place, I head out on the town sans pantaloons. I immediately shake the hand of the first person who approaches me.

 

Works like a charm.

I never thought I would see/read the word pantaloons on CDC

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Sign up for some activities! Ball hockey, second language class, volunteer with an organization that you care about. Find something that you like, or at the least makes you go "huh, I'd like to learn to do/learn more about that" It'll put you in a setting where you have to talk to new people, and you'll at least have one thing in common.

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17 hours ago, aGENT said:

Also, for meeting women I HIGHLY recommend taking up yoga.

 

I wish I'd known when I was younger and single. 

 

Added bonus of being good for you as well. 

But how attractive are you when you fail miserably at bending in any direction?  :lol: 

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1 minute ago, Shift-4 said:

Yeah. Been doing at home.

I end up swearing lots of obscenities to nice lady on Youtube

Highly recommend trying some actual classes. Teacher's will be able to adjust/fine tune your poses and advance your practice.

 

Chances are, you're doing it wrong :lol:

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8 minutes ago, aGENT said:

Highly recommend trying some actual classes. Teacher's will be able to adjust/fine tune your poses and advance your practice.

 

Chances are, you're doing it wrong :lol:

 

ahem

and this is where the vortex begins

 

1 hour ago, Shift-4 said:

But how attractive are you when you fail miserably at bending in any direction?  :lol: 

 

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Just now, Shift-4 said:

 

ahem

and this is where the vortex begins

 

 

You're not likely to run in to a group of more kind and understanding people than yogi's. And most classes have people of highly varying degrees of ability. Yoga is very much about 'your' practice and most teachers will give easy to advanced options on poses, particularly more challenging ones, while stressing that you 'listen to your body'.

 

In other words, quit being such a chicken $&!# and go to some classes :p

 

I've been in classes with long, bendy, strong and elegant people who look like they're floating through advanced versions of poses I'm huffing, puffing and wobbling/shaking through the 'middle' version of. And in the same class there's a 250+ lb person struggling in to the most basic version of the same pose. But they're TRYING and working on their practice and get nothing but support and encouragement from the class for doing so. 

 

Yoga is about the slow, steady process and evolution of your own practice, not a competitive 'who can look like a pretzel the fastest' contest.

 

By all means though, you need to find a class/teacher/studio that works for you. Other than the occasional Yin class to relax (and even then I prefer a good DEEP stretch), I like to work in my yoga (usually Hatha) classes. If it's too easy/light and Gordie forbid the teacher starts talking about crystals or something....it's not for me. I also can't stand 'hot' yoga. I get hot enough doing a good strong Hatha class in a normal 'warm' room and I've read enough that hot yoga can actually be harmful to muscles/ligaments, that I'm not particularly interested.

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20 hours ago, Ilunga said:

Beauty is as beauty does

Reminds me about something I read about Winston Churchill....

 

"When accused by one of them of being 'disgustingly drunk' the Conservative Prime Minister responded: 'My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.'

 

:P

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On 11/23/2018 at 7:57 PM, D-Money said:

Cooking would also be great for someone with social anxiety.

 

When my wife and I have people over for dinner (which we do often), if I'm not feeling overly social, I just do more of the cooking/cleaning/etc. That way you're around people, but also preoccupied, and not having to carry on as much conversation. And people are grateful for it.

 

My enjoyment of cooking is honestly an important contributing factor to why I'm now married and not single.

 

When my now-wife and I first moved in together, I hated coming home after work because she is very extroverted and wants to talk... I can be the opposite after a long day; I was working stupid hours back then, and most of the job is being alone, so you barely talk to anyone. Coming home was like jumping in an ice bath. I found it so difficult to communicate. So, she would try to talk, I would try to shut down, and that's how arguments would start. So, on top of me seeing a therapist, I used cooking as a way to transition between work and home life. She appreciated that I was cooking, I got to focus on something while making some small talk but there was no expectation of carrying on a conversation.

 

Sorry to go off on a tangent, just found it interesting that there were other people that liked to cook to help with social interaction.

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I started doing muay thai about 3 years ago and I noticed that the people taking classes were incredibly friendly. When I first started, they all seemed to know each other specifically through the class, yet did things together outside of the class. They also were not cliquey at all and would invite new people to go out for a beer, etc.  

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1 hour ago, Down by the River said:

I started doing muay thai about 3 years ago and I noticed that the people taking classes were incredibly friendly. When I first started, they all seemed to know each other specifically through the class, yet did things together outside of the class. They also were not cliquey at all and would invite new people to go out for a beer, etc.  

Gotta few friends that train muay thai and crossover into Brazilian jiu-jitsu, they are the nicest, humblest people you will meet.

 

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