confessions

[riffraff]

I hadnt had a single drink in about 2 months and went to see AC/DC with some old friends and had at least a dozen. Falling down blackout drunk and had no hangover. My friends mostly threw up the next morning. I was fine. I didnt know where I was when I woke up but I felt fine. We were in North Van for some reason. Buddy barfed on the seabus on the way back. Sorry to anyone who witnessed that or its aftermath.

Awesome.

Bon would be proud.

[brilac]

I was looking at handbags online, and received a call. I think it was a telemarketer call. I said - I'm sorry, I don't have time, I have to go right now, thank you, bye bye. And did not give the person an opportunity to speak. Then proceeded to look at handbags. It's Marc by Marc Jacobs. What else can I say..! What a fantastic designer!

[c00kies]

Watched the blood moon with a few friends out in a ditch by a field. My high school/current crush came and watched with us. I hardly said anything to her... man. I wish I had the guts to talk to her about non-joking stuff.

That's the one thing. I'm afraid to talk to this girl about serious, relationship-y stuff because I don't want to screw her up. And I feel like I'll never be able to date anyone else for long because she'll always be in the back of my mind....

As long as you're not ugly you'll be fine.

You can ask her about things instead of coming up with topics to talk about. How was your weekend/plans for the weekend? How are you liking tonight?

You can also ask questions that imply other things, such as "where did you get that outfit?" which will probably lead to her asking why? (probably after she says where she got stuff) and then you can say that it looks good (although this is already implied by your question).

You should be able to compliment girls without feeling too awkward.

Maybe I'm just good at talking to girls because I gave up on love a year ago (my confession lol), so I don't have to worry about what will happen with the relationship.

[thejazz97]

Tbh I'm burned out.

My brain is fried.

I can't think well, I can't work well, I've got too much on my plate, I'm too tired to sleep, and I can't relax or get comfortable. I've got a video that needs to be edited, plus more acting and directing on my part, midterms coming up, two huge assignments due for Wednesday that I haven't really started on, a cover letter that needs to be done ASAP, my parents have company coming tonight for the weekend, I've got a massive headache, and I'm starting to get stressed out when my parents raise their voice in the slightest.

I really have no good chunk of time to relax for at least the next two weeks and I can't afford to give up on anything right now. I'm just hoping and praying that if I crash and burn that it won't be as bad as I think it might be...

[pyx]

There's always someone who's got it worse. For example, I'm not really from Vancouver or even a Canuck... and... and... I don't really even like hockey.

[Twilight Sparkle]

whos dupe are you

[pyx]

I am not a dupe.

[Twilight Sparkle]

mods dont ban dupes anymore XD you can confess your alt, my son

[pyx]

I mean. some of my ancestors were Canucks, so sure, there's still some Canuck in me I suppose. eh. And yeah, there was this great hockey team here once, but they like moved back... out of loneliness, affinity, or solidarity I guess. I think it was because of the HUGGERS, really. Or could have been something sparkly, maybe...

[pyx]

mods dont ban dupes anymore XD you can confess your alt, my son

No...um... I don't got one of those types of diseases. Honest.

Well... not that's contagious really.

[Twilight Sparkle]

you're boring.

[Twilight Sparkle]

i farted and it smells like hot wings, cat poo and eggs, so toxic .__.

kinda like

Edited October 11, 2015 by Twilight Sparkle

[pyx]

Well thank you all so much for your warm welcomes. It's been real fun.

[NucksPatsFan]

Serious, and sensitive, but I feel like if I didn't put this out somewhere, it would eat at me from the inside even more than it already is. I apologize for the choppy writing style, as you can imagine, it's not going to be easy to get my thoughts out.

I lost the love of my life. No, not death or anything, but it's over. She left me. I was so focused and locked in on trying to get to point B where we could be stable in regards to money, a place to live together, etc, that I ended up pushing her away and making her fall out of love with me. Yes, she said she wasn't in love with me anymore. Point B was/is only 6 months away. I don't know if I'll make it there now. She is honestly the most amazing girl I know. I never once fell out of love with her. We had plans for us, we had talked about marriage and kids and what kind of area to live in and we wanted the same things.

I don't know what to do. We had a long talk at the end of August about what was going on, an honest, communicative talk that lasted hours with a lot of tears shed. We figured out what needed to be worked on and what needed to be changed. The subsequent 3 weeks felt like our earlier selves again, we were happy, enjoying each other's company and it didn't feel like work. One of her biggest reasons was that she said our relationship became like work and everything had to be fought for, when it wasn't like that before. I thought things were going great, but she left. Her best friend and her husband live elsewhere in the province, and she went there.

She said she needed time to think and evaluate and figure out how she can be happy first and foremost before focusing on us. She said she didn't want to talk every day all day like we did here, because then she's not getting her space. I 100% respected that fact, and gave her her space. I didn't want to, because I knew the less communication we had, the less likely it was she would start to get her feelings back. I knew that barely talking would undo all the progress we made in September. I was right.

2 weeks into her being gone, I got the message that it was over. She said those weeks in September were fun, but that she didn't feel like she was in love with me and that she knew it wouldn't change. She said maybe can be friends again one day.

I'm a mess, and this was a huge blindside. Of course I didn't expect her feelings to come back in 2 weeks, I knew that this would be a process to get back to how we were after we finally realized what needed to be changed. I didn't have a good feeling about us not talking while she's been gone, but I didn't think those weeks before she left would result in this. I was blindly optimistic that in a few weeks, or a month she would come back. I don't know what to do. She said she didn't know if she was coming back soon or not. I don't know if one day she's going to maybe (and this is wishful thinking) realize that she did love me and that not talking for the first time in over 4 years made her realize that. What is sending me into depression is the thought of what if she never does realize that, and this truly is over for good; the girl I thought I'd share my life with, have my children with, and have a home with was gone forever. I can't stand the thought of starting over, and I don't want to start over.

If you have nothing but insulting things to say, I'd ask you not to, but seeing that this is CDC I won't take it personally if there are remarks made. I just needed to get thoughts out, and I'd rather not have done it all over Facebook.

Any advice, or even just talking to someone, would be appreciated. It's a lot better, in my opinion, to talk to strangers than to get the recycled, biased, "You can do better" from friends and family.

[Cerridwen]

My heart hurts for you, NucksPatsFan. This is truly a loss and you have to let yourself mourn it. I wish there were some magic words to ease it for you, some words of wisdom that would solve it or undo the hurt and pain you're dealing with. You must take care of yourself, first and foremost... sometimes the people who come into our lives aren't meant for all our life......they are a part of our journey but not necessarily the happy ending of our journey.....and it's hard.....and it's difficult...and we must learn to keep moving forward without them. But we also need time to grieve and mourn the loss of a future that was so very much looked forward to. I wish you all the very best.

Edited October 14, 2015 by Cerridwen

[Green Building]

I've been there, and twice if you can believe it. By my guess, and it's just a guess, you did everything you possibly could vis a vis time and space to allow her to figure her own things out. Being in a relationship where one person is invested and the other is just participating or going through the motions is less healthy than a broken heart. Why would I say that? Because as a hypothetical, if you found out that she bottled those feelings up inside and shared them years or even decades later you might feel like your time with her was all a sham. The truth is always better to know, even if it is the biggest sack of $&!# ever dealt.

That's how I feel about it anyways.

Keep your chin up, don't listen to too much depressing/romantic music, and allow your mind to process the transition over time. Good luck to you.

I will only say this once, and it is not legally binding: Go Pats.

[NucksPatsFan]

My heart hurts for you, NucksPatsFan. This is truly a loss and you have to let yourself mourn it. I wish there were some magic words to ease it for you, some words of wisdom that would solve it or undo the hurt and pain you're dealing with. You must take care of yourself, first and foremost... sometimes the people who come into our lives aren't meant for all our life......they are a part of our journey but not necessarily the happy ending of our journey.....and it's hard.....and it's difficult...and we must learn to keep moving forward without them. But we also need time to grieve and mourn the loss of a future that was so very much looked forward to. I wish you all the very best.

I appreciate your words, Cerridwen, and all I can say is I'm trying to take care of myself but I'm just not finding the motivation anywhere. Maybe it's the blind optimist in me thinking that give this time and it'll work itself out. Then there's the severe pessimist in me telling me that the life I knew and the life I was looking forward to is gone and everything was a waste. The hardest part is not talking to someone you've talked to every day for more than 4 years.

[NucksPatsFan]

I've been there, and twice if you can believe it. By my guess, and it's just a guess, you did everything you possibly could vis a vis time and space to allow her to figure her own things out. Being in a relationship where one person is invested and the other is just participating or going through the motions is less healthy than a broken heart. Why would I say that? Because as a hypothetical, if you found out that she bottled those feelings up inside and shared them years or even decades later you might feel like your time with her was all a sham. The truth is always better to know, even if it is the biggest sack of crap ever dealt.

That's how I feel about it anyways.

Keep your chin up, don't listen to too much depressing/romantic music, and allow your mind to process the transition over time. Good luck to you.

I will only say this once, and it is not legally binding: Go Pats.

Thanks, GB, can't believe you've experienced this twice, I couldn't imagine. I agree with you, that in the long run, it's always best to know early than to find out you've been doing it wrong for years. I don't listen to depressing or romantic music, because it just makes it worse. For once, I don't mind listening to Pratt or Sekeres or Gallagher on 1040, my annoyance with them gives me temporary relief from this horrid mindset I'm in. It may not be legally binding, but hopefully you can cheer against the Colts this upcoming Sunday.

[AppleJack]

I am 5.5 months preggers and for the most part my friends have been super supportive/helpful. I do have this one friend who does seem excited for us but has been very vocal against kids. She is either complaining non stop about parents raising kids or young children being places where kids usually would be (parks, toy stores, conventions geared towards kids.) I am starting to take it personally.

Now mind you she's kind of a drama queen and comes from a very sheltered background. She wouldn't understand the first thing about being a parent or watching over a small child.

Right now shes doing work experience for school at a retail clothing store she's been whining quite a lot about it on FB and we have pretty much just ignored her.

Over the weekend my family got us a whole suit case of baby clothes which I posted on fb. A Lot of these clothes were onsies. Last night she made a post criticizing parents for buying onesies for their young children's halloween costumes. She said they had no imagination. I am turn between wanting to b**** slap her or showing up at her work and buying a bunch of super cute onesies...

Really though I don't know why a friend who is super selfish and a drama queen and needs to be the center of attention but really is a super sweet girls opinion on baby clothes bothers me so much.

Edited October 14, 2015 by AppleJack

[Bocivus]

Damn, NPF. I'm sorry to hear that, man. It's always tough, whether you see it coming or not. I've been there before with a girl I was with for almost 4 years. The best thing I can tell you is probably not what you want to hear as it's going to be tough. Like GB said, try to avoid listening to sad songs or songs that remind you of her although that can be challenging. Also keeping yourself busy with just about anything will help. Yard work, a hobby, helping friends with things, getting in the gym etc. Anything to keep your mind occupied to get the time to move. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. It's a slow process, but at least you know you're alive. The emotions of life's ups and downs are what make us human and reflecting on that is good for the soul. That's really all I can really say, man. Just remember; if it didn't hurt, it didn't mean anything and you'll grow as a person from this. I hope it gets better for you a lot sooner than later. Try to stay positive the best you can. I know it feels like it will never get better, but trust me, it does. It definitely does. Unfortunately it just takes time.