Realtor Rod Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 The derailment of the election thread should now be over. I spanked my daughter one time as a last resort. I hope to not have to do it again. My kids are 5 and 2 and only one of them had a spanking and I cried when doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanuckGAME Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Im all for spanking. I got spanked, kids these days lack disiplin. But spanking should be a last resort. I also used to get the belt, or my family had a wooden spoon i would get smacked with. This i am against. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lancaster Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 If only as the very last option left, when all other options are exhausted. Spanking within reasons, a simple pat to the backside. The usage should have been scarier than the actual action itself. No paddle, no belts, etc, and never hard enough to actually harm the child. Employed when the parents are still in control emotionally and not just doing it because they're mad. Only used when the deed done by the child actually warrants it. Not when: child accidentally spilled the milk, drew something on the wall, or decides to not pay attention. Should be reserved only if your child purposely hit, trip, act violently towards another child/person on purpose (assuming they didn't pick it up from you) and you have already explained that why they shouldn't do it, etc. Your child purposely stole something. Perhaps the child taking candy at the store, stealing toys from other kids and bringing it home. Maliciously lying. I'm not talking about a toddler blaming the younger sibling about the glass of milk that accidentally spilled on the floor (since it's kinda natural).... but spreading lies that is hurting others.... or hurting others and then lying about it. Of course... this is the very very very last resort. If you think you've ran outta options.... keep thinking before going down this road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master 112 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 It's abusive, not effective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mathew Barzal Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Different strokes for different folks. Some kids respond well to physical discipline and some do not. If you understand your child then you should be able to discern whether they can be verbally dissuaded or not. The biggest problem is there are usually two extremes to this. Because the majority of the North American populous are idiots (sorry it's true) the circumstances are usually a) Never disciplined whatsoever so they're spoiled brats. or Physically abused till they're a shell of their former selves. The reason so many people are against hitting their child is because most people can't control themselves when they snap. Willpower as a parent is EVERYTHING. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VanGnome Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I don't subscribe to the "last resort method" line of thinking. It's all well and good to say "figure out a way to get through to your kid without using physical violence". Well, spanking is not physical violence, it is discipline plain and simple. Can that cross over to violence? Sure, the key is to understand where the line is set. The other reason I don't agree to that method of thinking is, certain methods of discipline work for different kids, not all are the same, just as all forms of discipline are not the same. Each method of discipline serves a purpose, and has differing impacts based on the age of the child. 3 and under spanking in my opinion is fine, simply because they aren't developed well enough mentally to comprehend complex speech patters, or even a simple "no". The important factor is consistency, and drawing a parallel between having been spanked and why it was they were spanked in the first place. Above all, patience is the most important aspect to discipline, you need the patience to let the kid figure out what it is you're saying no to, and spanking should never be reactionary. You can't allow emotion to factor into it, otherwise you then cross the line. It seems difficult for a lot of people however, to think rationally and keep emotions in check, dunno why, it's not rocket science. Edit: Unless you're a parent, you really have no business posting in this thread as your opinion is completely invalid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master 112 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Edit: Unless you're a parent, you really have no business posting in this thread as your opinion is completely invalid. You can't be serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inane Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 http://www.scienceda...31211103958.htm http://www.huffingto..._n_1258351.html http://tulane.edu/ne...pr_03122010.cfm http://www.scientifi...r-not-to-spank/ Discipline is important, spanking is lazy and largely ineffective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiger-Hearted Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I'm all for spanking. However, there is a huge difference between spanking out of discipline(depending the severity of the child's infraction) and spanking and face hitting due to a parent's short temper. I experienced both. The bottom line is that children should fear the consequences of their actions and not their parents/guardians. Unfortunately, there are parents who spank because of their short tempers and they will spank over small trivial stuff that all children do. That gets into Child Abuse territory. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr.53 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 The thing is, it isn't clear cut. What works for 1 kid won't work for another. Yeah, I got spanked as a kid, and I turned out fine, but I can show you a couple kids who got spanked and didn't. Also, with some kids, certain types of discipline just don't work. I always laughed at the parents who would just ground my friends over and over. Take their phones away and stuff. Obviously, it wasn't working if they kept getting in trouble. Some kids, a good spanking will make them stronger, and make them better off, but at the same time a lot fo kids don't. That's a balance that only you can know with your own kid. However, that being said, if you do choose to spank. Employ 2 rules. No hitting the face. Ever. That turns spanking into just domestic violence. No weapons. You're bigger than the kid. (presumably) You don't need to use belts, and switches, and all that stuff. Just use your hand, trust me, they'll feel the pain. That's just me personally, but I find it to be very reasonable on both sides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryanstorm Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I don't spank my girlfriends kids though I raise them. They are absolutely out of control and yes they drive me and her crazy and don't listen to the word "no." (at all) I still don't hit them, I do yell sometimes because saying "no" in a calm collected voice is not always easy to do 1000 times when someone is defying you and causing a commotion or damage. That usually turns into screaming and crying and nothing ever gets through. So now I think, if it resorts to that last resort then you need some sort of class or therapy. You and the kids. I don't remember being that bad when I was a kid. I maybe got upset at the same things that my girlfriends kids do, but I never reacted in hate to my parents (maybe once) and literally throw a mental tantrum. Sometimes I don't know what to do either, but maybe some sort of therapy can help. I don't want these kids growing up in a juvenile prision. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Standing_Tall#37 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 From my personal experience with my children, I believe you have to be more intelligent and patient than them. If you can identify what they're trying to do you can nip it in the bud and never get to the the point where you need to spank. Remember to be firm but kind. In extreme circumstances at the beginning you may have to spank, but never use a spoon or belt, etc.... Use your hand then you know how hard you've spanked. I hate physical spankings...as I was a recipient of many until I was old enough(about 9 or 10) to work (split fire wood, pitch hay, shovel s***, pound fence posts, etc). No parenting technique is perfect, you learn as you go. What I see in my children now the more I understand about them.. Is the more I teach them feelings, emotions and communication, the more you can talk about things and help them search solutions. I don't ever feel the need to spank them, but I feel I've given them enough tools to be disciplined in other non-abusive ways and they have the respect for me to listen and follow through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down by the River Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I don't subscribe to the "last resort method" line of thinking. It's all well and good to say "figure out a way to get through to your kid without using physical violence". Well, spanking is not physical violence, it is discipline plain and simple. Can that cross over to violence? Sure, the key is to understand where the line is set. The other reason I don't agree to that method of thinking is, certain methods of discipline work for different kids, not all are the same, just as all forms of discipline are not the same. Each method of discipline serves a purpose, and has differing impacts based on the age of the child. 3 and under spanking in my opinion is fine, simply because they aren't developed well enough mentally to comprehend complex speech patters, or even a simple "no". The important factor is consistency, and drawing a parallel between having been spanked and why it was they were spanked in the first place. Above all, patience is the most important aspect to discipline, you need the patience to let the kid figure out what it is you're saying no to, and spanking should never be reactionary. You can't allow emotion to factor into it, otherwise you then cross the line. It seems difficult for a lot of people however, to think rationally and keep emotions in check, dunno why, it's not rocket science. Edit: Unless you're a parent, you really have no business posting in this thread as your opinion is completely invalid. You talk about rationality, yet you're willing to deny rational arguments on the basis of flawed logic. If a non-parent arrived at the same conclusion you did via 20 years of research, would you re-think your own opinion on the basis that their's must be invalid? If I told you that research has actually shown that corporal punishment again African American children in low-income neighbourhoods is associated with a decreased likelihood of arrest, would you deny this to be true, not on the basis of the research methods used, but on whether the authors of the paper had children? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baer. Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I was spanked as a kid whenever I threw a hissy fit. I'd say it worked on me fine. I'd consider myself a polite, collected person and I take pride in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I got spanked as a kid. I was also threatened with a wooden spoon from my Mom. I got spanked twice in my childhood. And I deserved it each time. The logic side of me says we should be good enough to avoid resorting to spanking. But sadly kids push boundaries and need some discipline. I don't think sitting in a corner cuts it. Usually the fear of spanking is far more effective as a deterrent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatedkid666 Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 Spanking 100%. If youre kid isnt being hit then he will an annoying brat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I don't subscribe to the "last resort method" line of thinking. It's all well and good to say "figure out a way to get through to your kid without using physical violence". Well, spanking is not physical violence, it is discipline plain and simple. Can that cross over to violence? Sure, the key is to understand where the line is set. The other reason I don't agree to that method of thinking is, certain methods of discipline work for different kids, not all are the same, just as all forms of discipline are not the same. Each method of discipline serves a purpose, and has differing impacts based on the age of the child. 3 and under spanking in my opinion is fine, simply because they aren't developed well enough mentally to comprehend complex speech patters, or even a simple "no". The important factor is consistency, and drawing a parallel between having been spanked and why it was they were spanked in the first place. Above all, patience is the most important aspect to discipline, you need the patience to let the kid figure out what it is you're saying no to, and spanking should never be reactionary. You can't allow emotion to factor into it, otherwise you then cross the line. It seems difficult for a lot of people however, to think rationally and keep emotions in check, dunno why, it's not rocket science. Edit: Unless you're a parent, you really have no business posting in this thread as your opinion is completely invalid. I agree with everything you wrote, EXCEPT the last line. Ridiculous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inane Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I agree with everything you wrote, EXCEPT the last line. Ridiculous. I can't believe people agree with his assertion that spanking an infant is ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I spanked my kids once with my hand and they just laughed at me. It didn't hurt. At least not enough. They already treated smacks on the bum as a game. Rather than escalate it to what i got at their age once in awhile, a metal spatula, which definitely hurt, I decided to cool off and approach it more diplomatically. They will act up from time to time, but they generally do what they're told. This I think is due to consistency with day-to-day discipline, patience, not giving in to every demand, being firm, but not angry, and diplomacy when required. I have no desire to physically harm my own children, even if it's just a spank. Yelling can be just as traumatizing as well, so it's best to keep that to a minimum. The problem I see with other people's kids is that they can let them dominate a household. That should be totally unacceptable. You have to curb that behavior right away, no matter how tired you are, otherwise you'll have bigger problems down the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monty Posted August 17, 2015 Share Posted August 17, 2015 I can't believe people agree with his assertion that spanking an infant is ok. Works for different kids. Worked on me, until a certain age. That age was when I was developed enough for them to sit me down and discuss. At the age of two and how out of hand I was, I couldn't be reasoned with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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