Diner owner yells at child for wailing for an hour, creates uproar on the internet

[Mr. Ambien]

The video + interview with owner of diner:

http://www.foxnews.com/..m_campaign=2015

The mother wrote a rebuttal op-ed on Washington Post:

http://www.foxnews.com/..-what-happened/

I’m the mom whose encounter with an angry Maine diner owner went viral. Here’s what happened.

My family wasn't looking for trouble when we stepped into Marcy's Diner.

Making national news was the last thing we expected on our quiet summer getaway to Maine this week.

One rainy morning, my husband, baby daughter and I went out for breakfast. We had stayed overnight in Portland, a place close to our hearts where my husband spent a lot of time in the Coast Guard. He suggested we grab breakfast at this diner he knew of. We figured it would have quick service and be family friendly.

When we arrived, we were told there would be a 30-minute wait for a table. While not ideal, we knew that on a Saturday morning in a tourist town, there would likely be a wait everywhere.

We finally got a table and ordered food. I ordered pancakes for my daughter, which took about 40 minutes to arrive. At this point, my 21-month-old was getting antsy, as I imagine most would when they have to sit in one place and wait for a long time. She wasn’t having a meltdown, so we decided to stay in our corner booth rather than go outside in the rain. In the noisy diner I didn’t see anyone looking at us or think we were causing a disturbance. (If that had been the case, we would have gladly taken our baby outside.)

[A kid cries in a restaurant. The owner yells at her. Now what?]

When the food came, my daughter was still fussing. My husband and I decided that we would eat our food quickly then leave.

Out of nowhere, Marcy’s Diner owner Darla Neugebauer threw to-go containers at my husband and yelled, “Either she goes or you go!”

We hadn’t seen this woman before and didn’t know who she was. She seemed so unprofessional that we didn’t take it seriously. Our waitress seemed embarrassed by the owner’s behavior too.

I continued feeding my child because the food was finally on the table. A few minutes later, Neugebauer, now behind the grill, slammed her hands on the counter. She pointed at my baby’s face and screamed, “You need to shut the hell up!”

My husband replied, “Are you serious? Are you really yelling at a toddler right now?”

“As serious as a heart attack,” she said, with fury in her eyes.

I’ll never forget the look of fear on my baby’s face.

It was then that I turned to my daughter and said calmly, “This is exactly how I’m raising you not to be.”

We then paid the bill, tipped the waitress 25 percent and left.

I thought that was that. But after I left a Facebook post about my experience on the Marcy’s Diner page, Neugebauer responded with a nasty, profanity-laden attack where she called my baby an “IT,” a beast and a rotten child. News outlets picked it up, and the story quickly spread. All of a sudden, thousands of strangers were commenting on my parenting skills.

What got lost is that it’s never okay to yell at a baby, especially if you own a restaurant. You should care about providing good service to their patrons. Neugebauer could have come over politely and told us our baby was disruptive. She should not have thrown things or yelled or cursed.

They also had a Facebook spat as described in the op-ed (some NSFW language on the Facebook links so might be better if at work to view on phone or wait til later):

http://www.foxnews.com/..5067776/photo/1/

The diner's Facebook page (some of the images here in the comments to posts are hilarious):

http://www.foxnews.com/...sdiner/timeline/

First off, I think we can agree that this kind of stuff probably wouldn't happen in Canada. This evidently occurred in Portland, Maine. What do you think?

Unfortunately I can't side with anyone on this, though, as a parent, I think I'd levy more criticism on the customer. If you've ever been to a busy diner, you know it can take a while to get food. While the customer is right about antsy infants/toddlers/young children, it's the parent's duty to deal with that. Take the kid outside for a walk, entertain them, etc. Just because a kid is antsy doesn't mean all the other customers have to suffer too from one's own young child's natural impatience. Of course, as a former business owner in the US (sold it for plenty of profit before moving back to Canada) I would never talk to my customers like this either. I think the language she uses is funny, personally, but good lord.. that kind of hostility is very unnecessary. One can get the point across without yelling in someone's face like a douche.

[TOMapleLaughs]

Meh. But it happened in Maine, so maybe Stephen King will read this and decided to base a novel on the incident. He'll write it this evening after dinner while sitting on the can.

Toddler attacks out of revenge, holds restaurant and then town hostage, forms toddler gang. Military sent in but thwarted by various alien toddler tech like lazer baby bottles, a giant tickle-me elmo creature stomping on tanks, and another giant barney the dinosaur terrorizing the coastline. Eventually ended by alien 'parent' encounter that turns mushy and Maine is once again left with repairing the devastation.

[MovesLikeDatsyuk]

Kids cry. Learn to deal with it or Fak off.

[Down by the River]

If parents are not tending to their child at all, the owner should be able to intervene. How the owner chooses to do so is up to them, and should be aware that the manner in which they intervene could be as offensive or moreso than the negligent parents.

If the child is acting out but the parents are doing what they can, cut them some slack, that's what kids do. If the parents seem to be giving their best effort, let them continue to try to parent and perhaps recommend that one take the child outside for a bit and that the restaurant will keep their food warm until they return.

Personally I find the owner kind of obnoxious too, but if her story is true, then I would expect any reasonable owner to want to intervene.

[Down by the River]

Meh. But it happened in Maine, so maybe Stephen King will read this and decided to base a novel on the incident. He'll write it this evening after dinner while sitting on the can.

Toddler attacks out of revenge, holds restaurant and then town hostage, forms toddler gang. Military sent in but thwarted by various alien toddler tech like lazer baby bottles, a giant tickle-me elmo creature stomping on tanks, and another giant barney the dinosaur terrorizing the coastline. Eventually ended by alien 'parent' encounter that turns mushy and Maine is once again left with repairing the devastation

He'll title the book: 'Carrie: The Girl Who Loved Belgian Waffles'

[TOMapleLaughs]

He'll title the book: 'Carrie: The Girl Who Loved Belgian Waffles'

"Wait... That isn't strawberry syrop! Aaaaagggghhh!"

[Shift-4]

My kids have always been awesome so I would never have this problem.

But why the hell would it take 40 mins for pancakes?

Let me know when that book comes out. Sounds like a good one.

[RUPERTKBD]

As someone who has worked for several years in the service industry, I think the owner handled the situation very poorly. There is no excuse for yelling and using profanity towards customers and even less at a toddler.

Yes, there are inconsiderate parents who make the dining experience uncomfortable for others, but this didn't seem like it was over the top to me. I saw no mention of complaints from other diners.

Either way, the owner has atrocious people skills and had she been an employee of mine, she would have been fired for her actions. There are far better ways to deal with such a situation and if I was a resident of the area, I would not patronize that establishment.

[Mr. Ambien]

As someone who has worked for several years in the service industry, I think the owner handled the situation very poorly. There is no excuse for yelling and using profanity towards customers and even less at a toddler.

Yes, there are inconsiderate parents who make the dining experience uncomfortable for others, but this didn't seem like it was over the top to me. I saw no mention of complaints from other diners.

Either way, the owner has atrocious people skills and had she been an employee of mine, she would have been fired for her actions. There are far better ways to deal with such a situation and if I was a resident of the area, I would not patronize that establishment.

Indeed. It's one thing to be very staunchly opinionated and with a "idgaf" attitude, like on the forums, but another entirely to run a business/establishment this way. No doubt that abrasiveness lost her some customers.

[etsen3]

I can't stand crying children, but it should be obvious that the appropriate thing for the owner to do would be to quietly ask the parents to bring the baby outside.

Can't really side with anyone here.

[Mathew Barzal]

Yep, you guys summed it up pretty well. There was definitely a couple of different more diplomatic approaches available, but can't blame the owner for losing her cool.

[Baka]

I was more offended by those wings of skin dangling off the owners arms.

[Jägermeister]

Owner handeled the situation pretty terribly, although who hasn't wanted to do what she did.

At the same time, if you're kid is crying in the middle of the restaurant, freakin' do something about it.

IMO, everyone involved sucked.

[Monty]

The only time I'm fine with toddlers crying for extended periods of time are on airplanes. In those situations, I've already come prepared with headphones or earplugs so I can have a quiet flight. There's also so much a parent can do for a screaming infant up in the air, so in those situations I have zero problem with it.

With this though, much different. Any adult should understand that when you go out for breakfast anywhere, especially in a tourist zone, that you will be waiting a long time for your food; whether you are waiting for pancakes or eggs benedict. It takes a long time and this is common knowledge. My wife has low blood sugar and even she prepares for a long wait at a restaurant by bringing something to snack on, just in case.

Parents with toddlers should be even more mindful of this. If they went to a restaurant, how did they not have fruit slices/cheerios for the child to snack on? Again, bringing food for your toddler also seems like Parenting 101.

I wasn't there, obviously, so I'm just going by what I've read from both parties involved. But the mother saying, "See, this is how I'm raising you not to become." If you're ignoring your child to wail in public and not do anything about it (again, from what I've read they did not do anything), then you are also not addressing the situation correctly. Now, it is entirely possible that the child could have had an ear infection or teething, which is another issue. But again, this wasn't brought up in the article and by all accounts, the child stopped crying when the owner stepped in. Perhaps the parents should have pulled the child aside if it was simply a situation where the child was being fussy. In which case, "Get on it, parents!"

[Chalky]

I certainly wouldn't side with the owner on this, anyone who screams at a toddler (if that indeed happened) needs mental help.

Me? I wouldn't take my cry machine into a busy diner though. The amount of Gen X and Y parents (I'm one too) that think they are special for having a kid shocks me. Double wide strollers in tiny "hole in the wall" eateries, screaming kids with no attempt to take them outside or calm them down. I dunno, maybe it's just me, but when my kid cried in a restaurant I was always mortified and wanted to minimize the effect on the other people paying to enjoy a meal there. Babies cry, it's a guarantee. There are many ways to pacify situations, and in my experience anyone around who is looking annoyed is usually just happy to see you attempt to calm them down or take them for a walk. There are more than enough family friendly places where crying and playing is totally acceptable. Rocky Mtn Flatbread has a whole playground inside. Milestones has room for the obnoxious strollers that are so popular now, Whitespot gives you colouring books and crayons. In most cases it's not hard to find a family friendly place to eat. In this case, the owner went waaaaaay too far, but in many cases entitled parents are the root of the issue.

[Dion Phaneuf]

Owner had good intentions but came across as an idiot. You don't yell at a customers child.

Parents need to take responsibility for their antsy child, take them out for a walk/entertain the child while waiting for the food or simply ask if the meal can be taken out as take-out instead. Lots of other possibilities, just don't have the child act up, try to control it a bit better.

[Tortorella's Rant]

Should've put the little brat in the fryer.

[250Integra]

She Gordon Ramsay'd that family.

[RUPERTKBD]

She Gordon Ramsay'd that family.

Except Gordon Ramsay would never do that to a customer....

[butters]

I hope everyone giving 'parenting 101' has a kid... I suspect you don't.