Heretic Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I always thought it was: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moz Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 By the sounds of it, your anxiety level is pretty high. I will say I'd rather have someone like you over someone who is a fearless driver though. Everyone is a little afraid when they first start... It's natural. I remember my first lesson I was breaking out in sweats and my arms were actually starting to get tired from clamping the steering wheel so hard. I would advise you to start taking lessons in less populated/busy areas. Try starting out in North/West Vancouver. There are a ton of residential areas that are prime for getting a feel for driving, working on your vision, and learning how your car handles. Should that not work, I think you need to see a therapist about it. Usually you wouldn't post something on a public forum unless it really started to bug you. Someone else mentioned some exposure conditioning/training, and I think it's a valid suggestion. These things have been proven to work. How viable that is, is another question. What is it about driving that freaks you out so much, specifically? Are you afraid of getting in an accident? Haha, I was like that. I shoulder checked so hard I strained a muscle in my neck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefan Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I used to be terrified of driving, and now I'm a courier. So, just keep at it, and get a new instructor. The more you do something the more you get used to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I was scared learning to ride a motorcycle. Even after the guys at Pacific Riding School were showing me that the bike can do way more than I can as a rider. I had to learn at my own pace. After a while I got my motorcycle license. And I've loved it ever since. It's ok to be wary. There's a lot of psychos out there that think they can drive and they clearly can't. I've even seen "professional" drivers who I question how the hell they got their licenses. It might take you longer to get used it. Keep at it. Once you get your license, wake up early one Saturday or Sunday and go for a nice long drive. You'll find it's really enjoyable. It's the traffic and the crazies out there that ruin it for everyone. You know. The guy on his cellphone not paying attention. The guy on a bicycle who's not obeying any traffic laws. The drunk/stoned bum downtown that walks across a red light giving everyone the finger as he stops traffic. Share the road, and be courteous. It's not too much to ask. We all want to get where we're going in one piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nux4lyfe Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Dude, One you get it, You GET IT, It's like learning to ride a bike, just stop being a bitch and stick it out, you'll be fine...I used to be like that, now I'm driving motorcycles, cranes, forklifts...man up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nucklehead Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Sorry, I have no advice for you because I will never understand you. I do however understand your instructer. I always remember the first time I got behind the wheel, the feeling I had and the thought in my head was, "Oh my gawd, this the thing that's been missing in my life. This completes me!" It felt so natural and so right, I was one with the car and the road. I guess some of us are born to drive and some of us should stay on the bus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
butters Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Yollo,seeing as you live downtown, does this mean you are learning to drive in the same area? If so, have you ever considered going to somewhere a bit quieter? Learning how to operate a car is one thing, learning how to function in crazy traffic is another. Maybe it would help to do one before the other? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Ambien Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Yollo, seeing as you live downtown, does this mean you are learning to drive in the same area? If so, have you ever considered going to somewhere a bit quieter? Learning how to operate a car is one thing, learning how to function in crazy traffic is another. Maybe it would help to do one before the other? Pretty much. Driving in the city can make people a little more paranoid too, I think it's best one learn the fundamentals of driving before learning defensive driving techniques one has to utilize more in urban areas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-DLC- Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If your instructor called you terrible for defensive driving and making sure on a left hand turn on yellow, he's actually the terrible driver. It will come over time...it's normal to be nervous but experience will kick in over time. Do what you're doing, be aware of people around you and take nothing for granted. I could count at least once a day where someone with a signal on isn't actually turning but has simply left their blinker on after a lane change. Good luck...it'll come naturally after awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Colt 45s Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I have been driving for years, but I was a timid during the offensive driving course I took. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nucklehead Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Doesn't prove he's a terrible driver Deb but for sure teaching is not his thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TGokou Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 First of all congratulations for taking the leap! Second of all STAY OUT OF MY WAY! (j/k) I think it's just a matter of confidence really. It's something that you haven't done in a really long time and it's totally understandable. Like someone has said, make sure you get lots of practice in areas that are not as busy. Driving in busy areas will only make your anxiety worse. Build up your confidence by driving in slower areas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugor Hill Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Thanks. BTW I'm in Toronto. Wish I was in Vancouver so I can take some of your recommendations. Most of the time lessons are in build up areas during the day. Not downtown, but busy uptown, I supposed. I'm gonna stick with it for another class or two. If I don't see at least some improvements in my skills and confidence, then I'll move on. Did some quick google searches on how to relax myself so let's see if they help. The money doesn't matter much at this point, but at the same time I don't want to puss out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoaltenderInterference Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Don't fear driving. Fear other people driving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aGENT Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 If you have to have a license for your career, then change instructors and tell the new potential instructor exactly how you feel. Be specific so theres no confusion with the new instructor and you have the same problems. 2nd, if you dont absolutley have to drive and you are very fearful of it, dont. You've come this far already. Barbara Walters has never driven her whole life (fun fact ) Plus, if you really have genuine fears and you are forcing yourself to get a license against you true desires and outside your comfort zone, you might be setting yourself up for something bad down the road. Dont want to be a buzzkill, but you never know. This^^^ Get a different instructor and PRACTICE. Like most anything, the more you do it, the more comfortable and better you get at it. If you still feel the same way after that, perhaps driving isn't for you. Don't be that guy everyone honks at because you're petrified to actually drive. You'll just cause accidents and road rage. And for the love of Gordie, unless you're passing or need to exit/turn left in the very near future, stay the @#$% out of the left lane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Aerosex Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Your driver sounds like a right proper dick. Learning to operate a massive hunk of metal that moves around at high speeds is nerve wracking, especially if you're learning downtown. Get somebody who's patient and explains clearly. Might be best to get lessons somewhere else (as in physically somewhere else where there's less traffic and you can learn mechanics first). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherwise Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I think it would probably be best if you could find someone who is much more calming. When I was learning to drive I would only go with my dad because my mom would freak out at me and then make me nervous. I had a driving instructor but I didn't really like him, he would just say what I was doing wrong but not how to fix it. I would say if you get a chance go to industrial areas on the weekend there tends to be fewer people around but enough that you will get used to the basics and get some confidence up. I think it would be better than residential because you won't have to worry about little kids running out in front of you. Being able to be calm and focused is the most important things while driving. Also if you have trouble understanding him, that's probably distracting you from focusing on the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
etsen3 Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Your instructor is a huge dick and a terrible instructor. Driving instructors are supposed to inspire confidence, not tear it down. Why should you pay for someone to call you names and insult your skills? On top of that, they are supposed to be able to communicate effectively and it sounds like your instructor can't with his poor English. You're a paying customer, if you're not happy with the product there are plenty of good instructor out there, go with one of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hugor Hill Posted July 23, 2014 Author Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well today's lesson was a lot better. It was strange how talking about it alone made it seem better. I tested my stress level on my app in the morning at home and it was telling me I was under high stress. I did the test a few times over just incase the app was wrong. So I decided to call him just to tell him I want to give up. He said I'm better than half his students and that I will pass the exam. So the lesson went well. He gave me an easier route to drive and went easier on me for minor little things. Plus I drove better. I did things like deep breathing and just tapping my fingers on the wheel when there isn't much action and they helped. EDIT: However, after my lesson my stress level was through the roof, according to my app. I probably looked as calm as the buddha himself but I guess I learned to fake calmness. Hopefully it will change over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
King Heffy Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 Well today's lesson was a lot better. It was strange how talking about it alone made it seem better. I tested my stress level on my app in the morning at home and it was telling me I was under high stress. I did the test a few times over just incase the app was wrong. So I decided to call him just to tell him I want to give up. He said I'm better than half his students and that I will pass the exam. So the lesson went well. He gave me an easier route to drive and went easier on me for minor little things. Plus I drove better. I did things like deep breathing and just tapping my fingers on the wheel when there isn't much action and they helped. EDIT: However, after my lesson my stress level was through the roof, according to my app. I probably looked as calm as the buddha himself but I guess I learned to fake calmness. Hopefully it will change over time. Sounds like a lot of it was him rather than driving. Since he took the feedback and used it constructively, I'd keep at it and you should get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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