JamesB Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 This story in the Province by Wyatt Arndt crystallized some of my concerns about Benning. The link is http://www.theprovince.com/life/longweekend/Draft+pick+predictions+anybody+guess/11157077/story.html Here is the story. (Miltt should like it, and maybe he wrote it.) It wouldn’t truly be Canada Day without some hockey talk. With the NHL season finally over, and the all-too-common horrifying sight of the Chicago Blackhawks winning yet another Stanley Cup, the next important date to mark down on your calendar is the 2015 NHL Entry Draft. And with the June 26-27 draft in Sunrise, Fla., comes a large boatload of sweet optimism (“This guy’s a steal!”) as well as bitter pessimism (“Why did they draft that guy? He’s a bum! I saw a YouTube video where he missed an empty net!”). How will the Canucks fare in the draft? In their case, you never know what you’re going to get. On the one hand, they are making deals for players such as Sven Baertschi; on the other hand, they’re handing out big contracts to Luca Sbisa. It’s hard to tell what direction the team is headed. Are they looking to build a smart, skilled team, one based around the idea of Corsi domination? Or will they follow the old-school mentality of meat and potatoes, and winning series with size and brute strength? Or will it be some weird hybrid of the two, with the missing spots filled in with frog DNA? (If the film Jurassic Park has taught us anything, hopefully it’s not the hybrid.) Therefore, to help figure things out, here are some signs that Canucks general manager Jim Benning plans on keeping things a little bit old school: ■ Benning drafts a slow, tough player, whose career highlight is that one time said player scored two goals in midget hockey. Both ended up being own goals but man, you should have seen the hit he dished out in the third period! ■ Benning glowingly talks about a drafted player’s ability in the scrums and how quickly he can take his helmet off. ■ The GM doesn’t have any advanced stats on hand about a drafted player, but he does know how many fists per second the player threw last year. He lovingly refers to them as “potato” stats. ■ He is constantly overheard talking about getting a “Happy Gilmore-type player” in the third round. ■ Don Cherry agrees with every single Benning pick, and can pronounce the name correctly of every player taken by Vancouver. ■ The guy the Canucks take in the fifth round is compared to a “slower version of Tom Sestito.” ■ Benning drafts an actual pylon in the fourth round. A bright, orange, immobile pylon. He is excited the pylon fell that far in the draft. “We were scared Toronto was going to snag him!” ■ He trades the second-round draft pick for some cigarettes and a six-pack of beer. “We wanted Kokanee, but had to settle for Molson. Molson is dependable, though, so we’re happy.” And please do not ruin my fun by telling me the above statements are not true, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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