Armada Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 A Suffolk man with a bizarre sexual attraction to tractors has been banned from the countryside and forced to sign the sex-offenders’ register.Ralph Bishop, 53, was found by police with his trousers around his ankles “interfering” with a tractor parked in a field outside Saxmundham.He was arrested on suspicion of outraging public decency, and admitted to having had sex with around 450 tractors all over the Suffolk countryside.When officers searched his terraced home they found a collection of more than 5,000 tractor images on his laptop.The photos showed Bishop had a special desire for John Deere and Massey Ferguson tractors, particularly green ones. Object of desire A police insider said: “We couldn’t believe it when we found him in the field. He was wearing a white t-shirt and Wellington boots and very little else. He was clearly in state of high excitement at the rear of the machine.“Thankfully nobody else was around, but the field is close to a village primary school so we had to arrest him and educate him about the error of his ways.“He told us he was particularly ‘in to’ axle grease and the presence of this around the back of tractors was all too much for him.”Bishop, twice divorced, was released without charge on condition he sought psychological help. He was put on the sex-offenders’ register.“He is also banned from the countryside and is now not allowed to go within one mile of a farm,” the police insider added. “So he has to live and remain in the middle of Ipswich to comply with that.“However, we are watching him because we are worried about the safety of several street-cleaning machines.”Another policeman added: “He’ll also need to keep away from the town’s gardens – if he takes a fancy to a lawn mower he might find he loses more than just his liberty.”http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/suffolk-man-sex-with-tractors/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Yup... I'm losing faith in humanity. I guess he figures nothing runs like a Deere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shift-4 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Well if witches can switch from brooms to vacuum cleaners I guess shepherds.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarthNinja Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Yup... I'm losing faith in humanity. I guess he figures nothing runs like a Deere.just imagine how the tractor feels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostsof1915 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 just imagine how the tractor feels...Violated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 What...does he...just....grease'er up and ....jam it in the tail pipe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Monahan Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Is this a joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BananaMash Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I mean yeah, that tractor is pretty hot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Odd. Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I'd bang that tractor 10/10would do again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOMapleLaughs Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 The answer is no.Science clearly needs to develop sexualized virtual reality tractors for this person, as well as perfect totally immersive virtual reality porn for the rest of us.The march goes on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUPERTKBD Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 just imagine how the tractor feels...Probaby feels like it just got plowed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amish Rake Fighter Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 sounds like something Labamba would be into Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gstank29 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Just when you think that the world couldn't get any more messed up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thejazz97 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 But he can't change his attraction! Let him love who he wants to love! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gstank29 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 That tractor be looking for them hoes, but he still ended up getting plowed in the field by a crop duster. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toni Zamboni Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shift-4 Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Birth was successful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milk and honey Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 But he can't change his attraction! Let him love who he wants to love!this^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tre Mac Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Talk about playing the field but I heard you can get gonorrhea from a tractor... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riffraff Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 Man. suffolk chicks must be uuuuuuuugly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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