SixFootFiveAndJackedAF Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 (edited) This is serious, Its ok to make jokes about it though I dont mind. I am wondering what I should do with my love life in general. I am 19 and I am very isolated. My whole life i believed I was straight but when I entered high school as a freshman I started to fall in love with an older boy who has occasionally bullied me. I really enjoyed all the attention he would give me even though a lot of times it was negative and humiliating for me. As time went on, we became normal friends but i never told him how I felt and then he graduated. Ever since then, I feel like my whole being has been messed up and shuffled around. I still feel attracted to girls but romantically nothing is there, and when it comes to guys I want them to treat me like $&!#. what should i do?? Edited June 7, 2020 by SixFootFiveAndJackedAF 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stawns Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 8 minutes ago, SixFootFiveAndJackedAF said: This is serious, Its ok to make jokes about it though I dont mind. I am wondering what I should do with my love life in general. I am 19 and I am very isolated. My whole life i believed I was straight but when I entered high school as a freshman I started to fall in love with an older boy who has occasionally bullied me. I really enjoyed all the attention he would give me even though a lot of times it was negative and humiliating for me. As time went on, we became normal friends but i never told him how I felt and then he graduated. Ever since then, I feel like my whole being has been messed up and shuffled around. I still feel attracted to girls but romantically nothing is there, and when it comes to guys I want them to treat me like $&!#. what should i do?? have fun with it. Just be safe, sane and consensual. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post I.Am.Ironman Posted June 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2020 14 minutes ago, SixFootFiveAndJackedAF said: This is serious, Its ok to make jokes about it though I dont mind. I am wondering what I should do with my love life in general. I am 19 and I am very isolated. My whole life i believed I was straight but when I entered high school as a freshman I started to fall in love with an older boy who has occasionally bullied me. I really enjoyed all the attention he would give me even though a lot of times it was negative and humiliating for me. As time went on, we became normal friends but i never told him how I felt and then he graduated. Ever since then, I feel like my whole being has been messed up and shuffled around. I still feel attracted to girls but romantically nothing is there, and when it comes to guys I want them to treat me like $&!#. what should i do?? Try both sides of the fence and see what happens? You're still young and there is plenty of learning to do across all of life's dimensions. Generally speaking though, falling for people who treat you like S### is not a winning strategy. You want positive attention, not negative. 1 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stawns Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 7 minutes ago, I.Am.Ironman said: Try both sides of the fence and see what happens? You're still young and there is plenty of learning to do across all of life's dimensions. Generally speaking though, falling for people who treat you like S### is not a winning strategy. You want positive attention, not negative. while true in the context of real life, there are safe ways for people to scratch that itch. The trick is to be able to walk the line without falling off the edge Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil_314 Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 Not trying to pass judgment but I wonder if this (I'll call it how I see it) seeming masochistic tendency is a slippery slope that would be best avoided and addressed if you want something healthy and holistic moving forward? I'm no trained counselor, but I wonder if this kind of psychological complex is something that you'd want to speak with one about. Something like this which seems to be deep rooted (and that you're acknowledging now) may be the start and piquing of this from your subconscious, and at worst with such a conversation you could have a more well-rounded perspective after hearing what counselling professionals have to say about it. At least then you could decide for yourself if trying for a healthy relationship is worth it or if you decide to follow this impulse, then at least it's grounded on a decision that you've made for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Jay 22 Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 1 hour ago, SixFootFiveAndJackedAF said: This is serious, Its ok to make jokes about it though I dont mind. I am wondering what I should do with my love life in general. I am 19 and I am very isolated. My whole life i believed I was straight but when I entered high school as a freshman I started to fall in love with an older boy who has occasionally bullied me. I really enjoyed all the attention he would give me even though a lot of times it was negative and humiliating for me. As time went on, we became normal friends but i never told him how I felt and then he graduated. Ever since then, I feel like my whole being has been messed up and shuffled around. I still feel attracted to girls but romantically nothing is there, and when it comes to guys I want them to treat me like $&!#. what should i do?? Your life so do as you please and what make you happy. Don't do anything that makes you feel like a piece of S&*t. Pursue the avenue that makes you feel better mentally and physically, whatever that may be. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhillipBlunt Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 1 hour ago, SixFootFiveAndJackedAF said: This is serious, Its ok to make jokes about it though I dont mind. I am wondering what I should do with my love life in general. I am 19 and I am very isolated. My whole life i believed I was straight but when I entered high school as a freshman I started to fall in love with an older boy who has occasionally bullied me. I really enjoyed all the attention he would give me even though a lot of times it was negative and humiliating for me. As time went on, we became normal friends but i never told him how I felt and then he graduated. Ever since then, I feel like my whole being has been messed up and shuffled around. I still feel attracted to girls but romantically nothing is there, and when it comes to guys I want them to treat me like $&!#. what should i do?? While not trying to minimize your feelings, you’re 19. It’s normal to feel some confusion about things at that age. Best things for you to do is realize that you aren’t &^@#ed up and don’t judge yourself. With that mindset you can go about exploring your love life with more confidence. If you lack confidence because you’re confused, you’re more likely to end up in a situation where you’ll be victimized. The fact that you’re aware of what is going on in your life is a good thing. Some people live decades of their life suppressing perfectly normal and safe ideas, and come to realizations later on in life and live with regret for not giving themselves allowance to try things out. Like @stawns said, be safe. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post PhillipBlunt Posted June 7, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted June 7, 2020 By the way, are you actually 6’5” and jacked as &^@#? 1 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JM_ Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 its good you're reaching out to the CDC community, but I'm sure there are other LGBTQ+ online that really understand what you're going through. And like others have said, enjoy yourself, be safe, labels mean nothing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DADDYROCK Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 In your life you have to do what makes you feel happy,and you are still young and just haven't honestly figured out what you really want,just like most people to be truthful. Do what in your heart you know will fullfill your dreams and stay safe and be a good person and the right options will hopefully find you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SixFootFiveAndJackedAF Posted June 7, 2020 Author Share Posted June 7, 2020 43 minutes ago, PhillipBlunt said: By the way, are you actually 6’5” and jacked as &^@#? Not yet. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SixFootFiveAndJackedAF Posted June 7, 2020 Author Share Posted June 7, 2020 Soon I will be big and strong, everyone will fear me. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brilac Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 So you’re 19 - for you, I’d focus on my self. Take vacations, go to the bar, talk to attractive people, get phone numbers. It doesn’t mean you have to commit to them. I’m in my 30’s, and it’s great being by myself. I’ve been in relationships before, and lived with someone. We were on different pages. He looked at it as - we live together and I love her. I looked at it as - this is my boyfriend, yeah we live together. Before COVID-19, I took vacations. I went to London in January. Prior years, I went to Montreal a few times for the Playoffs, and took the train to Quebec City, and another time to Ottawa. I enjoy taking day trips. I went over to Victoria a particular time on a float plane and went to the Vista 18 for food and champagne, and ate dessert as breakfast at a French bakery prior. I took a day trip to Alaska, and saw a bear casually crossing the street. It was a big bear! Oh my! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nux4lyfe Posted June 7, 2020 Share Posted June 7, 2020 May I suggest, Grinder? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junkyard Dog Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 Just be you. We are all equals here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewbieCanuckFan Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 (edited) ... Edited June 8, 2020 by NewbieCanuckFan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stawns Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 5 hours ago, Phil_314 said: Not trying to pass judgment but I wonder if this (I'll call it how I see it) seeming masochistic tendency is a slippery slope that would be best avoided and addressed if you want something healthy and holistic moving forward? I'm no trained counselor, but I wonder if this kind of psychological complex is something that you'd want to speak with one about. Something like this which seems to be deep rooted (and that you're acknowledging now) may be the start and piquing of this from your subconscious, and at worst with such a conversation you could have a more well-rounded perspective after hearing what counselling professionals have to say about it. At least then you could decide for yourself if trying for a healthy relationship is worth it or if you decide to follow this impulse, then at least it's grounded on a decision that you've made for yourself. masochism is one of the most common and explored fetishes out there. Like anything else, be smart and do it safely with sane people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammertime Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 I say you carry a large D1ldo on you at all times and if anyone bullies you #hammertime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lancaster Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 As others has mentioned.... you're only 19. When you're much older, you'll be looking back and thinking... "was I ever that naive?" In the mean time... stay safe, go out to meet people who respect you, and know that no relationship (regardless of your orientation) is worth crying over at this stage in your life. To use a car analogy... you're never going to stick with the first car you ever test drive, you're not forced to buy a certain type of car either just because it was the first car you've driven.... shop around, test drive in a safe manner, and figure out what vehicle is suitable for your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elvis15 Posted June 8, 2020 Share Posted June 8, 2020 2 hours ago, stawns said: masochism is one of the most common and explored fetishes out there. Like anything else, be smart and do it safely with sane people. Sure, but none of that is someone actually treating someone like crap. It's simulated and agreed upon where the person that appears to have the least amount of power has the most. OP, that is a valid fetish or kink to have, but be sure to research and do so in a safe way. Actually having someone treat you like crap is not a solution and will leave you emotionally scarred. It may be worthwhile speaking with a therapist on that aspect. As far as men vs women, maybe it's both, or maybe you will have a preference for one or the other. Reddit can have some good advice, so long as you're aware there will be stupid people on there with stupid advice. Find some local LGBTQ+ and/or kink communities and ask questions there. I don't have any good reading resources, but they're out there. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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