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Cheesy Joke Thread

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Justin Trudeau walks into a Bank to cash a cheque in front of me one day: As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?”

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure to do that sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

Trudeau: "Truthfully, I didn't bring any "ID" with me as I didn't think there would be any reason, he says, I'm the leader of the Liberal Party, "I am the Prime minister of Canada....

Cashier: "Yes sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks today because of all the impostors and forgers and requirements of the CIDC legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing your ID."

Trudeau: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody knows who I am."

Cashier: "I am sorry, Mr. Trudeau, but these are the rules and I must follow them."

Trudeau: I am urging you, please, cash this cheque."

Cashier: "Look Mr. Trudeau , here is an example of what we can do. One day, Mike Weir came into the bank without ID. To prove he was Mike Weir he pulled out his putter and made a beautiful shot across the bank into a cup. With that shot we knew him to be Mike weir and cashed his cheque for him.

Another time, Wayne Gretzky came in without ID. He pulled out his hockey stick and made a fabulous shot with a hockey puck it landed in an over turned trash can at the other end of the bank. With that shot we cashed his cheque.

So, Mr. Trudeau, what can you do to prove that it is really you, and only you?"

Trudeau stands there thinking, and thinking, and finally says, ummmm "Honestly, my mind is totally blank, I have absolutely no idea what to do, I don't have a clue." I really don't have a clue.

Cashier: Says, Ok thanks Will that be large or small bills, Mr Trudeau?"

  • Haha 2
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

Careful what you say to your wife!

 

 

Wife:  I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.

 

Husband:  Why not throw that in the garbage, much easier.

 

Wife: But there are poor starving people that could really use these clothes.

 

Husband: Honey, if anyone fits into your clothes then they are not starving.

 

 

 

 

The husband is now recovering in the hospital from a head injury.

  • Haha 1
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  • 1 month later...

A bear walks into the Balzac Bar & orders a beer.

 

Bartender says "We don't serve beer to bears in the Balzac Bar"

 

Bear goes "What??"

 

Bartender says "You heard me, we don't serve beers to bears in the Balzac Bar"

 

Bear goes "You don't serve me a beer then Imma eat you!!"

 

Bartender says "Do what you want, we still don't serve beers to bears in the Balzac Bar"

 

Bear looks around in frustration, and sees this older lady drinking beer by herself "You don't serve me a beer, Imma eat that old lady!"

 

Bartender says "Won't change a thing, we still don't serve beers to bears in the Balzac Bar"

 

Bear stands up "Fine!" 

 

Walks over to the old lady & gobbles her up on the spot, then walks back up to the bartender "See? I told ya! Now gimme a beer!"

 

Bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beers to bears in the Balzac Bar who are on drugs"

 

Bear goes "What?? On drugs?? I'm not on drugs!"

 

Bartender says "Yes you are. That was a bar bitch you ate!"

 

 

hqdefault.jpg

  • Cheers 1
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6 hours ago, luckylager said:

@falcon45ca

Great joke, I first heard it told - "We don't serve beers to bears in bars in BC"

 

The barbiturate punchline is gold.

My dad taught me that joke, & I've heard the BC variation...I just love the way Balzak sounds:lol:

 

 

Maybe I've posted this one before, I do not recall. Anyhow, it goes a sumfin' like this...

 

 

What do they call Silence of the Lambs in Newfoundland?

 

Shut up yews

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